


As If

by LdyAnne



Category: NCIS
Genre: Adventure, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-07
Updated: 2011-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-22 08:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LdyAnne/pseuds/LdyAnne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is late for work, Gibbs wants to know why. Spoilers for Chained and Missing.  I haven't used the Major Character Death warning.  Please trust me and read the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kate sat at her desk, nervously drumming her pencil on the empty pad that sat there, her attention split between watching the minutes tick by on the clock and Tony's desk – Tony's empty desk. He was 25 minutes late and she'd covered for him once already with Gibbs. Fortunately Gibbs had headed straight for MTAC after he'd enquired about his tardy agent's whereabouts. She hoped he'd be there for awhile. She didn't think he was going to buy a second trip to the little boys room again this early in the morning.

Thoughtfully she chewed on a lip. It just wasn't like Tony to be this late. Alright, it might be like Tony to skate in a couple of minutes late, flashing that smile of his that he thought would keep him out of trouble, then he'd spin some preposterous tale that he would expect his coworkers to swallow. But it wasn't like him to be this late without letting someone know where he was.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the door to MTAC open. Her stomach twisted into a knot when she saw Gibbs pause to say something before stepping out and heading purposefully down the stairs. There was nothing she was going to be able to do this time. The shit was going to hit the fan as Tony would say.

As he came down the stairs he was frowning, never a good thing this early in the morning. She saw his eyes take in Tony's empty work station and the frown deepened.

Kate knew how bad it looked. Tony's desk was completely empty, the computer powered down, there was no evidence that he'd been there at all that morning. She put her pen down and twisted in her seat, pretending to read her email. She pretended she didn't know Gibbs was there, standing just behind her, but she could feel him.

"The head, Kate?" Gibbs queried in that deceptively quiet voice he used before he hit someone over the head. Usually it was Tony, this morning Kate was afraid it was going to be her. "Did he fall in?"

Kate couldn't believe she'd been caught in a lie. A lie she'd told to try and save Tony's sorry butt. If he came sauntering in now, he was in so much trouble. Of course she might have to kiss him first she'd be so relieved to see that he hadn't died in a fiery car crash or any of a hundred other scenarios she'd been imagining over the past 20 minutes. But then he was going to be in so much trouble.

Gibbs was still waiting impatiently for her answer. Turning in her chair, she shrugged trying for casual, knowing she had failed miserably, "I thought he was here, Gibbs..." she began, but he cut her off.

"Thought is not good enough, Agent Todd. Call him and tell him if he wants to have a job this afternoon, he'd better get his ass to work now."

She took a deep breath, "I've called his cell, Gibbs and his apartment. There's no answer."

There was a full beat as Gibbs digested the information. Kate waited breathlessly for the explosion she knew was coming. She was almost disappointed when it didn't happen because when it came later, it'd only be that much more intense.

"Find him, Kate," Gibbs instructed softly. "Take McGee, you do know where Agent McGee is, don't you, Agent Todd?"

Kate gulped and nodded. "He's downstairs... helping Abby." They were trying other avenues down there to look for Tony, but Gibbs didn't need to know that. His narrowed glare already promised retribution of the painful sort.

He continued, "Good. Take McGee and go to Tony's apartment. You haul him back here. If he's late because of some skirt, so help me..." his voice trailed off and he looked away. But not before Kate saw the fear in his eyes.

It was the fear that she felt, too. She could almost hear the questions he wasn't asking. What if Tony wasn't just late? What if there was some other reason that he wasn't at work?

Nodding tightly, pulled her weapon out of the drawer where it was kept. She checked it quickly before sliding it into its holster. Then she hurried away, hoping that she really would find Tony at home with his girl of the day.

Then she could shoot him herself and not feel bad about it.

The music in Abby's lab was loud and pounding, bouncing off the walls of the lab. Kate huffed out an aggrieved breath. She was never really a fan of Abby's brand of music and this morning she just wasn't in the mood. She made the detour to turn it off. The silence was almost more deafening than the music. It took her ears a moment to adjust from the pounding rhythms, then she heard the tapping in the other room.

She found Abby and McGee bent over the computer, so intent on whatever they were working on they didn't even notice the music had been turned off. She watched over their shoulder for a moment.

"You find anything?" she asked finally, hopeful.

Abby turned soulful eyes to her, "Nothing! He hasn't used his cell or home phone all weekend. We've been trying to break into his home computer, but we're not having any luck."

"Well, Gibbs is on to us. McGee and I are supposed to go to his place and see if he's there."

"I'm worried, Kate," Abby confessed quietly. She looked at Kate, searching for some reassurance that all was well.

Reassurance that Kate couldn't give her. Even if by some miracle they did find Tony at home alive and well, Gibbs was going to kill him. He was officially very late now and with no excuse it was going to be bad. But Kate didn't really believe he was late.

Tony was a lot of things that pissed her off, but a slacker wasn't one of them. If he was late, there was a reason. The fact that no one had heard from him meant that the reason probably wasn't a good one, it meant he was being prevented in some way.

"I know, Abby," Kate said, "we'll let you know what we find at Tony's place."

The drive to Tony's was the longest drive they'd ever knew it wasn't the longest literal drive they'd ever made. He'd been in the car with Gibbs and Tony before for hours that seemed to stretch on to eternity with Tony in the front seat baiting and taunting him. He'd plotted his own revenge against the other agent many times.

But this... not knowing what they were going to find at Tony's place made the drive seem like it took longer than forever.

Normally Tim and Tony didn't see much of anything eye to eye. The other agent spent too much time browbeating and generally making life hell for the 'probie.' Tim knew that partly it was Tony's competitive nature that made him act that way; he had an unnatural need to be first in everything. In his more charitable moments it made Tim wonder sometimes what made Tony that way.

But Tim had also come to realize that it was Tony's way of letting Tim know that he cared about him. He began to see past the face that Tony wore to see the man underneath. The man who was afraid of loosing the people he cared about. He played the clown so people wouldn't know how much he really cared.

"I'm sure he's alright, this IS Tony we're talking about," Kate offered quietly as she negotiated the DC streets.

Tim didn't know which of them she was trying to convince.

"I'm sure you're right. You know Tony, he probably met some girl at a bar," he could play the game, too.

"With more 'assets' than brains," Kate picked up the tale without enthusiasm. Somehow it just wasn't any fun to harass Tony in-abstentia. Normally Kate was an excellent driver, but this morning she reminded him more of Gibbs as she cut off a driver going too slowly.

"They went back to his place," Tim said softly.

"One thing led to another..." Kate turned down the tree-shaded street that Tony lived on. Everything appeared to be quiet and peaceful. There was certainly no signs of foul play. Tim didn't know what he was expecting, a sign that said 'danger ahead.' When it came to DiNozzo anything was possible.

"I'll bet we find him up there with no idea of what day it is," Tim said, without much conviction.

He hoped it was true.

Kate slid into a parking place in front of Tony's building. He lived in an upscale building that was all brown stone and elegant architecture reminiscent of a more graceful time. There were shade trees lining the walk, the branches hiding the building from prying eyes. Kate and Tim shared a glance that spoke volumes about their worry.

Kate had pulled in right behind Tony's car. It looked like it hadn't moved all weekend. There was leaves on it that Tony would never have allowed to stay on his pride and joy if he'd seen them, and several birds had made 'deposits' of their own to mar the shiny surface of the car.

As she climbed out of their vehicle Kate felt her stomach churn a little more and she wished she'd skipped the Special K breakfast.

As they made their way up the walk towards the front door, Kate scanned the street looking for anything unusual or out of the ordinary, but try as she might, there was nothing. It was a bright, sunny morning. The air was a little cool, but the sun promised a warm afternoon. She could even hear birds singing in the trees. It seemed wrong somehow to have the birds singing when they didn't know where Tony was.

They stopped at the security door. Rather than break in, they rang Tony's number to try and gain entry, but it was no good. He still wasn't answering. Just as Kate was thinking they were going to have to resort to illegal means to get into the building, an older woman came trundling up the walk, a grocery bag in her arms. She wore a brightly printed dress and her white hair was fashionably swept up into curls and held with a sparkling comb.

Tim didn't even hesitate as he stepped forward.

"Can I help you with that, ma'am?"

Her weathered face creased into a smile, "That would be so lovely, young man. It's so seldom that I meet nice young men these days."

She punched in her security code to gain access to the building. Kate held the door open for her to enter.

The woman continued to talk as she entered followed by the two agents. "I mean really, young people can be so rude these days. The cashier at the grocery store has every possible piercing, I swear you could use her as a pin cushion. I know it's not my place to judge, my mother had a fit when I got my ears pierced without permission and I was considered wild in my day, but I just can't imagine having your tongue pierced. Still, if she weren't so rude to the customers, I wouldn't think a thing about it, but I swear when she got those piercings I think her brain must have dribbled out of them..."

The hall they walked down was all dark, polished wood and deep pile carpet. The walls themselves were covered in some sort of lineny paper, tasteful chairs were placed at strategic points with the occasional mirror or table to complete the décor. It was definitely an upscale place.

The woman continued her monologue, though neither agent said a word or asked a question. "But the two of you seem nice enough. Here's my apartment." Pausing outside a door, she pulled out her key. Before putting it in the lock, she turned the knob and the door swung open. "Oh, dear, I've forgotten to lock the door again."

She walked into the apartment, not even pausing to make sure there was no unwelcome strangers inside.

Kate was a little more cautious. She held up a hand to stop Tim and followed the woman inside. Reaching inside her jacket, she put a hand on her weapon just in case she needed it.

The apartment was quiet, she could hear the woman continuing to talk, obviously unaware that she was no longer being followed.

Kate surveyed the living room, the furniture had delicate wooden lines and expensive fabrics. Not wanting to be intrusive, but still feeling that sense of something wrong, Kate continued her search; there was no one in either bedroom or the bathroom. She nearly ran into Tim when he followed her without the grocery bag, his hand also resting on his gun. She shook her head quickly and he retrieved the bag of groceries from the hall.

"Well, well, there you are," the woman emerged from the kitchen. "I thought you'd left me and taken all my groceries." Her eyes twinkled when she spoke, she didn't really believe it.

"Ma'am," Tim said, "you don't leave your door open all the time do you? That could be very dangerous."

The woman patted him on his cheek, "Oh, don't call me 'ma'am.' My name is Doris or you can call me Gran, most of my neighbors do."

"Alright, Gran…" he said hesitantly. "You shouldn't leave your door open like that," he insisted earnestly.

She laughed again, taking the bag of groceries, "You sound just like young Tony. He's always scolding me, too. But what is the use of living in a secured building, I want to know, if I have to lock the door all the time?"

Their interest piqued, Kate and Tim followed Gran into the kitchen.

"You know Tony, ma'am… Gran?" Kate asked. "Tony DiNozzo?"

Gran nodded as she bustled about the kitchen putting things away. A cat jumped up on the counter and meowed for attention.

"Everyone here knows Tony, he's our guardian angel you know. He gives lessons in home safety and self defense." Gran patted the cat absently as it continued begging for a treat.

Kate and Tim exchanged a glance. Tim mouthed 'Tony?'

Kate hushed him as the woman continued, "He's always telling me, 'Gran, you can't leave your door unlocked. Someone's going to get in here and try and hurt you and then I'll have to shoot him, and I hate to do the paperwork when you shoot someone'."

She did a credible impression of Tony DiNozzo. Kate worked hard not to laugh. Tim couldn't help it and covered his laughter with a coughing fit.

"Oh, dear," Gran peered at him in concern, "let me fix you some tea." She reached into the cupboard and pulled down a tin, "This is Tony's favorite…"

"No, no, Gran, that's alright. We work with Tony and we were just here to… pick him up for work," Kate didn't want to alarm the old woman if there really was nothing wrong. "You haven't seen him this morning, have you?"

Gran paused a moment thoughtfully, "No, I haven't and that's odd, because he's usually up with the dawn and out running. He says that's the best time to run, because it's when all the pretty girls are out, too." She smiled fondly. "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him all weekend, but that job keeps him awfully busy. They should give him a raise."

Tim's coughing fit returned.

"I'll be sure and tell his boss," Kate assured her as she and Tim began to edge to the door. At this rate, they weren't going to get back to the office until noon and then Gibbs would fire them all.

"When you see him, tell him to stop by later. My granddaughter is coming to visit for the week and I wanted to introduce them…"

That was just too much. Kate knew that Gran thought they were crazy but she and Tim made their escape before they could embarrass themselves by falling on the floor laughing. They stood in the hallway trying to collect themselves a moment.

"Oh my," Kate giggled as she leaned against the wall to catch her breath.

"I always imagined Tony living in a singles place filled with hot babes," Tim admitted.

"We don't know, Tim, the rest of the apartments could be filled with hot babes." They both bent in laughter again. Kate finally stood and took a deep breath. "Alright, I suppose we have to find Tony now and drag him back to work."

They had passed the stairs on the way to Grans place, Kate pushed off the walls and wiped the tears of amusement from her eyes as they walked back down the hall. Tim nodded his agreement, following a couple of paces behind her.

It was hard to remember what they had been so worried about. The place seemed so normal and their encounter with Gran was just too funny, Tony wouldn't be living it down anytime soon, that was for sure – home security and self defense classes.

Tim chuckled again as he climbed the stairs behind Kate.

They reached the third floor and paused a moment, just listening and observing. There was nothing, no sign of foul play, no reason to think that there was anything going on besides the obvious, Tony had overslept and now he was in big trouble. Except that was the thing that cried out the most that things were wrong – Tony didn't screw up like that.

Tim glanced down at his watch. Tony was now officially an hour and a half late. Ninety minutes where no one knew what had happened to him. Really it was the entire weekend, because no one had seen him or talked to him since Friday night. Forty-eight hours in which anything could have been done to him. They were NCIS agents, they'd seen the terrible things that people could do to each other.

Tim felt his jovial mood slipping away and the fear and uncertainty creeping back in. Any other time he might have tried to file away the feelings and the mood for later use when he was writing. But not this time, it was too personal. This was Tony they were talking about.

He gave up any pretense and pulled out his gun when they approached Tony's door. He noticed that Kate had pulled hers out, too, keeping it low and pointed to the floor, but still out and ready for whatever they found when they opened Tony's door.

Kate knocked and they waited, listening for some noise inside the apartment to indicate that there was someone inside. There was nothing. Kate knocked again harder.

"Tony? You better get your butt out of bed and answer this door, Gibbs is so pissed." She was trying for the usual acerbic tone she adopted with Tony, but to Tim it was forced, the strain showing in the worry in her eyes, the way she lifted her gun a little.

Tim counted down from ten in his head. Tony might be a slow starter in the morning, it might take him a minute to get from his bed to the door, all rumpled and hair sticking every which way. God, let him be there.

They stood, looking at one another as it became more and more obvious that no one was going to open the door. They were going to have to do the unthinkable and enter Tony's apartment. Tim pulled the key out. They all left their key with Gibbs. The job they did was dangerous and there was countless reasons why one of the team might need to get into someone's place, the current scenario was one they'd steadfastly refused to think about.

Until now.

He was a little surprised at how steady his hand was when he slipped the key into the lock and twisted it.

It was the not knowing what they were going to find that was the worst.

He swung the door open and immediately realized he was wrong.

It wasn't the not knowing that was the worst. It was the knowing and the seeing...

He swung himself into Kate who was just going to walk in and see it without any warning. He shoved her hard.

"Tim, what in hell are you doing?" she blinked at him in surprise when she hit the door frame.

He took a deep breath trying to keep his breakfast in his stomach where it belonged.

"You don't want to see it, Kate, trust me," he looked into her eyes and tried to show her how terrible it was, but she wouldn't take his word for it. He knew she wouldn't. Kate always had to see it for herself. She was an agent, she could deal.

She shoved past him to stalk into the apartment. She only got two steps inside the apartment before she was turning back and exiting, her face white.

"Oh, God, Tim..."

"I know, Kate. I know." He held onto her as she cried, wishing he could cry, too. But one of them had to be strong.

One of them had to call Gibbs and tell him Tony was dead.

* * *

Gibbs prided himself on the fact that he'd never lost an agent. Sure, agents he knew had died, but no one on his team had ever died. Part of him was really pissed with DiNozzo that he'd been the one to break that perfect record. It wasn't something he could say anymore. Trust DiNozzo to screw it up.

If he had him there, he'd slap him in the back of the head and Tony would mutter repentantly "Sorry, boss."

It wasn't ever going to happen again.

Gibbs hit the steering wheel – once, twice, three times. It didn't help. Tony DiNozzo was still dead.

He sat in the car, staring at the building where Tony lived..., had lived. There were so many questions that they needed to find answers for – the how and why and the who. The who was very important, because Jethro intended to make sure that that person suffered. A lot.

DiNozzo was a damn fine agent and more importantly someone that Gibbs considered a friend. He didn't have enough of those that he could afford to lose the few he had. It hit him hard to think of NCIS without Tony, the wisecracking, smart-ass that he was.

Wearily he climbed out of his car and walked up the sidewalk to the building. He might have known DiNozzo would live in a place like this, a security building in an upscale neighborhood. Gibbs sharp eye noted the security cameras mounted in discreet corners covering the entrance and most of the grounds. They might just catch a break.

Kate met him at the door to let him in, her eyes red and swollen. He could see the despair in their depths, the utter and complete devastation that he felt but wouldn't allow to spill forth. He was glad she could cry, he never would.

They walked to the third floor in silence. He knew he should make her report, but he let it be for the moment, too soon they'd be unable to take time to grieve. This might be the only time she had until after the case was put to bed. They reached the door and she turned to him then.

"It's bad, Gibbs," she hesitated and he thought she was going to start crying again. But she held on, she took a deep breath and continued. "They shot him in the face, the bastards."

Gibbs sucked in a breath himself, feeling like he'd been punched in the gut. Shit. He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. Then he stepped past her into the apartment, steeling himself for whatever he would find.

Kate was right. It was bad.

Blood was splattered everywhere and the body on the couch, while recognizably DiNozzo from the clothes and the build, looked like something from a slasher movie. The level of anger that it took to shoot someone in the face was unimaginable, except that Gibbs was feeling it right then. If they'd had the perp right there, Gibbs honestly didn't know what he'd do.

Still dressed in the clothes that he'd left work in on Friday night, it was unimaginable that Tony had sat there all weekend, his body cooling and no one had known it. Gibbs felt he should have known somehow, should have felt it in his gut that one of his team was dead. But he hadn't felt anything until this morning when Tony was late to work, by then it was way too late to do anything for him.

Gibbs swept the room trying to remain clinical and detached. There was a stack of dvds on the table and a beer, long since gone flat, along with a bowl of pop corn. Popcorn kernels littered the expensive pile carpet that was now also stained red. It was obvious DiNozzo hadn't expected to die when he did.

Without warning, Gibbs turned and smashed a fist into the wall behind him. He barely felt it when he punched through the sheet rock completely leaving a hole in the tastefully painted panel.

It seemed to Kate that every person that could possibly find a reason was there, squeezed into Tony's apartment. Despite his juvenile manner and chauvinist ways, he was well liked by the people he worked with. Or maybe it was because of his juvenile manner and chauvinist ways. She could never tell. There were agents there she had never even met before.

In any case there was way too many people there and the crime scene was going to be contaminated beyond hope. Gibbs must have thought so, too, because he put his fingers in his mouth and gave an earsplitting whistle.

Any talk instantly ceased and everyone turned their attention to him.

"Now, people, I know we all want answers and we're going to get them. But for the moment the only people I want here are Ducky and Palmer, and Agents Todd and McGee. Got that?"

It sounded like one or two might protest, but when Gibbs turned his steely stare in the direction of the sputtering, it died out. People trailed out and before long it was only their team left. Kate thought it was fitting somehow. Tony was theirs, they needed to take care of him now. It was the last thing they'd ever be able to do for him.

Gibbs leaned back against the wall, the same one that he'd put his fist through earlier. It was blocked by his body, but she knew it was there. A gaping hole in the wall, it was strangely symbolic of the hole that now existed in their team.

Gibbs had circles under his eyes and he seemed to have aged over the last hour. It occurred to Kate that they rarely saw him at anything less than his best; he never leaned against anything, he never sat on the edge of a desk, he never slouched, he never showed a sign of weakness. Even when he was injured he 'soldiered' on, insisting he was fine. He'd finally found an enemy he couldn't defeat, death, and it had shaken him to his core.

"Ducky?" he asked, his voice gravelly.

Ducky hadn't moved from Tony's side since he arrived. He'd very carefully done what he needed to do and now he and Jimmy were preparing to move him back to the lab.

"I'm so sorry, Jethro, I don't even know what to say."

A small smile quirked the edge of Gibbs' mouth at that, "Speechless, Duck? DiNozzo would be proud."

"Yes, well…" Ducky paused to gather himself. "From liver temp and the onset of rigor mortis, I can tell you that death was in the last 36-48 hours."

Gibbs didn't interrupt, he just listened. Kate stood quietly by taking notes and Tim took photos, careful to get every detail. They didn't know what might help them later. She could tell he was also hanging on every word.

"Initial guess as to cause of death would be gunshot to the head, but I'll know more when I get him back to the lab."

"Do me a favor, Ducky..."

"Anything, Jethro," Ducky's hands were infinitely gentle as he worked with Tony's body, preparing him for his final trip to the morgue.

"Send his blood and DNA up to Abby right away when you get back."

That caught everyone by surprise, they all gaped at him.

"Jethro, what are you saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying, Ducky," Gibbs pushed himself away from the wall, "DiNozzo's dead and nothing makes sense right now. But let's look at everything, make sure everything's taken care of properly. Let's not get sloppy just because it's one of our own."

"Of course, Jethro, although why you would think we'd get sloppy…"

"This is personal, Ducky. Someone walked in here and shot Tony in the face. Now it could be a freak thing, it could be an old case, it could be a thousand things…" he paused.

"But your gut says?" Ducky prompted.

"My gut says this is personal, that someone did this to get our attention. Well it worked, I'm paying attention and Tony paid the price."

"Jethro…"

"Just go, Ducky, do what you have to do. We'll stay here and work the scene, we're going to find the bastards that did this."

"Of course you are, I never doubt that for a second," Ducky assured him. He turned back to Tony's body, "Jimmy, let's take him home."

Gibbs didn't stay to see the body removed, he motioned for Kate and Tim to follow him out into the hallway.

Kate sucked in a breath. The air in the hallway was different, not as blood tainted as the air in the apartment, and yet the coppery tang clung to her nose and clothes. She was going to throw away the clothes she was wearing once she got home.

"Kate, I want you to interview the people in the other apartments, see if they saw anything. McGee, take photos and do sketches, I'll dust for prints."

"You're going to dust for prints, boss?" The question was out before McGee even thought about it. His eyes got big when he realized what he'd said.

"Yes, I'm going to dust for prints, we're a team member short, Special Agent McGee or hadn't you noticed?" Gibbs' voice was short and clipped with an edge of steel that could have cut McGee in half.

"I… uhm…" Tim floundered, having no idea what to do or say.

"Gibbs," Kate said quietly, "we're all dealing with this."

He rounded on Kate and for a second she thought he was going to yell at her, too. He opened his mouth and then shut it. "I know, Kate. I know."

It was all he said before he turned on his heel and went back into the apartment.

Kate gave Tim a hug before she headed for the first apartment. They'd never been a particularly huggy bunch, unless you called her elbow in DiNozzo's ribs touchy-feely, but she needed contact. She needed to know that the rest of her team was solid and alive.

He must have needed the same thing because he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. Then they both went back to their jobs. Finding Tony's murderer.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony was dead.

Abby had heard it, but she didn't believe it, not really. There was no way Tony DiNozzo could be dead. He was too full of life, too full of _joy de vivre_. It practically exuded from him, the way he did everything full out: from driving his beloved car, to the way he threw himself into his job. No one lived life the way Tony did and she wouldn't believe he was dead, she couldn't, not until she had seen it for herself.

Slowly she made her way to the morgue. Part of her was reluctant to go, once she was there; once she **saw,** there was no taking it back, but she had to do it. She owed it to Tony. They had been friends from the first moment they'd met, they'd clicked in a way that she rarely clicked with anyone. Lots of people looked at her strange goth clothes and the tats and judged her for it, not in a favorable way.

Tony had taken one look at her and smiled.

He held out his hand to her and asked, "Where have you been all my life?"

She loved him for that, for the fact that he accepted her just the way she was and never asked her to dress differently or act differently, he never wanted her to be anything other than what and who she was. This was the last thing she could do for him and it was pretty shitty that it was making sure that it was really his body in the morgue.

She stood at the door for a long time, just watching Jimmy as he cleaned Tony up. She knew how they said he had died with his face gone. They were wrong, it wasn't gone. All she had to do was close her eyes and she could see him smiling at her with that charming smile that made most women's insides go gooey. Most people only saw the smile and thought that was all there was. But she'd always seen past his mask to see the Tony that just wanted people to like him.

" _Go on in, Abby_ ," she heard Tony whisper in her ear, his breath warm on her ear, " _get it over with quick, like pulling off a bandage_."

She wiped away a tear. Tony was the biggest baby when it came to bandages. He'd make a bigger fuss over a paper cut than he did over gun shot wounds. Although, now that she thought about it, he did make a big fuss about gun shot wounds, too.

With resolve, she pushed her way through the door. Jimmy glanced up at her when he heard the door. His normally cheerful face was shadowed, his eyes red. Abby couldn't help it, she wrapped her arms around him.

"I liked him, Abby," he whispered into her hair.

"I know, Jimmy," she patted his back, "we all did."

She stepped away from him reluctantly, she was stalling now. She knew it. As long as she didn't look, it wasn't real. She turned her eyes to the body that lay on the table. Nude, it didn't really seem to bear any resemblance to anyone she'd ever known.

"Dr. Mallard said to send you the blood and DNA samples right away. Gibbs wanted you to run them first thing. I was just getting ready to bring them up to you."

Abby knew Jimmy was talking, she heard the sounds but suddenly the words didn't make sense anymore. She was staring at the body on the table. She'd seen plenty of bodies in her job. Bodies didn't disturb her, bodies of friends did.

"Abby?" Jimmy asked concerned.

She stared at the body that had once been Tony DiNozzo. It just wasn't possible he could be dead, that this.. husk could have contained him. It didn't even seem possible, it was too small and frail. The ribs showed starkly through the skin, and the legs were just downright skinny, not lean and muscular the way Tony's had been.

She reached out to touch the body, hoping that the touch would help to ground her and help her to accept what was in front of her. She let her fingers trail over the skin of the ribs, counting the bones and then down to the hip… That's when she saw it. Tony's hip. Curiously she tilted her head and bent closer.

"Abby, what are you doing?" Jimmy's voice finally penetrated.

She turned to him grinning like a wild woman. Or maybe he thought she was a wild woman because he took a step back.

"He's not dead, Jimmy! He's not dead!" She threw her arms around him squeezing him tightly before grabbing the items he'd set aside for her and racing to her lab.

She didn't even hear him call, "But you've got to sign the form…"

* * *

When Gibbs entered Abby's lab, the music was at its usual ear-drum shattering proportions. It was a good thing her lab was sound proof, because they'd be able to hear it all the way at the White House. Probably think the country was being attacked and declare def con one.

He was tired and felt old and had no desire to deal with Abby's music. Kate and McGee, who were following closely at his heels, winced when the music hit them like a slap in the face. He waved them on into the lab and made the detour to turn the music off.

"Hey," he heard her indignant call from the other room, "I was listening to that."

"I'm surprised you can hear at all listening to music that loud, Abby," he said.

Making his way to where the rest of his team waited, he handed her the Caf-Pow he had picked up on the way.

McGee and Kate were there waiting for him, with Abby. The stood watching him expectantly, waiting for him to let them know what was next.

It was all so... normal. Which made him all the more acutely aware of DiNozzo's absence. It just hovered there, that awareness, that sense of something missing. He'd even started to turn to Tony several times already during the course of the morning, needing information or someone to run this errand or get that piece of equipment from the van.

Every single time he'd been forced all over again to remember that DiNozzo was dead. Every time it hit him with a new wave of pain that he would push aside, then deal with the problem himself because he just didn't have the strength to deal with his own pain and Kate's or McGee's, too

It had been a long morning.

Now they were in Abby's lab at her urgent request and she had the temerity to be bright and smiling. He knew she knew DiNozzo was dead, he'd told her himself. When he left her before going to the crime scene..., Tony's apartment, she'd been working hard to not break down.

It was like she was a different person. If he didn't know better, he'd suspect drugs, but that was one thing he never had to worry about with Abs.

Abby didn't reply to his acerbic comment, she just threw her arms around him and gave him a hug. For a moment he just let himself be surrounded by her, let himself give into the pain and the need to touch and be touched.

Then he pulled away, They had work to do. Tony's murderer was still walking around free and that was intolerable.

"Abby, you called us?" he reminded her.

She smiled and giggled. She actually giggled.

Gibbs felt his fists clench and ground out, "Abby, we don't have time for this. Now I don't know what's going on with you, if this is some weird reaction to Tony's death, but we need..."

She jumped and twirled in her glee.

"That's just it, Gibbs," she said as if that should explain it all.

Gibbs looked at Kate and McGee to see if they had an explanation for Abby's strange behavior, but they were both as mystified as he felt watching Abby with alarm. Kate shook her head at his questioning glance and McGee just stood with him head cocked, a frown creasing his forehead.

"What is 'it', Abs?" Gibbs asked tiredly wishing he'd stopped for coffee along with her Caf-Pow.

"Tony's death. That's what this is about. Perception." She waited, eyes wide, for him to understand what she was saying.

Maybe he was getting old, because he wasn't able to follow where she was leading today, "Abby, I just lost an agent and I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood for games."

She grabbed his arms and shook him a little, maybe trying to dislodge the cobwebs in his brain, "Gibbs! Somebody wants us to think Tony's dead, but that's not his body in the morgue. Tony's not dead." The words were out in a rush as if she were afraid they would stop her, tell her she was crazy and leave.

There was an intake of breath from McGee and Kate.

Gibbs didn't even dare hope that she could be right, hope led to more pain when it was proved to be wrong. He'd walked that road before and he wouldn't do it again. He needed the proof, something hard and tangible that he could see and touch.

"Do you have evidence of that, Abby?" he asked sharply.

"Do you remember Jeffery White?"

Normally he could deal with Abby's round-about way of answering his questions. Her brain didn't work in the same linear way that most brains did, it was part of her brilliance. Today he just wanted to shake her. He knew it wasn't her fault, so he took a breath and waited for her to get to her point.

"You know the crazed psycho killer that Tony was chained to the last time we lost him?"

That hurt. He knew Abby hadn't meant it the way it sounded, but it hurt way down in his gut.

They just kept loosing DiNozzo. First there had been the time when the crazed woman had been taking marines. When Tony had disappeared Gibbs had felt his insides twist knowing what had happened to the other victims. That time had turned out alright because DiNozzo was stubborn as hell and just wouldn't sit around and let himself be rescued.

The second time had been when they'd let him handcuff himself to Jeffery White.

" _Trust me, boss_ ," he'd said then, flashing that shit-eating grin of his. " _I can handle it_."

Tony had nearly died that time. It had been so close. When he'd seen the blood spattered windows and Tony lying against the wheel of the car, he'd feared the worst. That time it had turned out okay, too.

The job they did was dangerous, they all knew that when they signed on. There was always someone who was going to be angry that they'd been caught, someone who was trying to prevent the NCIS agents from finding out what they'd done. They were always targets. Gibbs had lived with that most of his adult life, and he could deal with it. It was knowing that his agents were also targets that was hell to live with.

But he trusted them, he knew they were good at what they did, or they wouldn't be on his team. He couldn't coddle them or protect them, it's what they did. It was who they were.

It didn't keep him from wanting to protect them.

"I remember Jeffery White," he said, feeling his patience stretched to its limit.

"Well, Tony was pretty freaked by the whole thing. He really liked the psycho killer dude..."

"Abby, is this leading to some sort of point?" Gibbs asked.

She just ignored him, going on with her story, "He and I went out for a drink after everyone went home. Tony got pretty drunk, did you know he's a fun drunk?"

"Abs?" Gibbs had nearly reached the point of explosion and she could see it.

"I'll bet you're a mean drunk," she grumbled.

"Do you really want to find out?"

She just grinned cheekily and hurried on, "Anyway, to make a long story short...,"

"Thank God," Gibbs breathed.

"I took him home that night because there was no way I was going to let him drive, he would have killed himself." Instead of being embarrassed about her unfortunate choice of words, Abby laughed, "Get it, killed himself?" She looked hopefully from Gibbs to Kate and McGee all of whom just blinked at her aghast.

"Wow, tough room. Anyway, he wanted to show me his tattoo..."

"Tony had a tattoo?" Kate asked, surprise coloring her voice.

"He does," Abby confirmed. "Right here," she pointed to her hip where the torso and the leg came together. "He told me the last time he'd gotten that drunk was when he was in college. He and his frat brothers had gone out and had their house insignia tattooed there."

"Figures," Kate tried for cutting, but missed it completely.

"You saw a tattoo, on his hip?" McGee asked, a little jealousy creeping into his tone, making it high and squeaky.

"McGee don't be so Victorian. Of course he showed it to me. It was really cool, too!"

"Abby," Gibbs shouted. "What's the point of all this?" He thought he knew, but he needed her to say it. He needed to know.

She just blinked at him, as if it should be obvious. "Gibbs, that body down in the morgue doesn't have that tattoo."

All of the air went out him with a whoosh, when he breathed in, he had hope again. Oh, yes, Tony was alive.

He grabbed Abby by the shoulders and kissed her on the cheek before exiting the lab for the morgue, Kate and McGee following. They'd also shed the shroud of pain and sorrow they'd been wearing all morning. They practically ran to keep pace with Gibbs.

Abby smiled fondly after them, touching her cheek. "Oh, yeah, Abby to the rescue."

With a happy sigh she turned back to her instruments. They were slowly working away on the blood samples and the DNA from the body in the morgue.

"Who are you?" she asked, chewing on a pigtail.

She had a friend to find and that was where she was going to start.

* * *

Tony stirred in his cage, trying to find a position that would ease the cramp in his muscles. He knew by now that it was a futile effort, but the pain was so bad he had to do something or scream in rage and frustration and he wasn't giving his captors that satisfaction.

The bars pressed into his back, the cold metal biting through the material of the thin tee-shirt he wore. The shivering had become a constant in his world and there wasn't much he could do about it except be thankful that his captors, whoever they were, had left him the shirt and boxers. Torture 101 said to strip your prisoner in order to take away his identity. He wasn't naked. Just be thankful for small favors.

He squinted at the room around him. It was hard to focus, his vision was blurry and tended to be grey around the edges. Which, since the room **wa** s grey, he didn't think he was missing anything, it was just unnerving and frustrating. He knew that was what his captors were going for, but it didn't help knowing that.

He would have liked to have had some information about the whys and the whos, or even the how longs. They'd taken his watch along with the rest of his clothes so he didn't have any clue how long he'd been there, resident in the little box.

The second rule of Torture 101 – take away the prisoner's sense of time. Deprive them of any contact that would give them control over their environment. They'd done a pretty good job with that one. For all he knew he could have been a prisoner for a day, a week, a month, he just didn't know. If the growling of his stomach was any indicator, he guessed he'd missed a few meals.

He tried not to think about how hungry he was, or how thirsty. The thirst was worse than the hunger though and refused to be ignored. He knew he was in more danger of dying form the thirst before the hunger could get to him. He'd imagined death sometimes, in his imagination he always went out a hero in a blaze of glory saving the girl and getting the bad guy. Dying from dehydration was a sucky way to die, one he wouldn't recommend to anyone.

But then again, f his headache and constant nausea were any indicator he might just die of his concussion before any of that happened. Although he didn't know if people actually died of a concussion. The doctors sure fussed enough about it.

"Pull it together, DiNozzo."

Tony blinked at the specter of Gibbs standing outside his cage, watching him expectantly, like Tony were a monkey in a cage and he was waiting for him to do something amusing.

Ah, yes, the hallucinations. They were an indicator of a concussion, too. How could he have forgotten?

"Working on it, Boss," he mumbled.

You ignored Gibbs at your own peril, even if he was a hallucination. He already had a king-sized headache, he didn't need Gibbs thumping on it.

"What happened, DiNozzo? Who has you?"

Typical Gibbs, didn't ask how he was doing or if he needed anything. He cut right to the important stuff.

The most irritating thing was that he still didn't have any idea of who had taken him or why. Except for the guys who had showed up at his door on Friday night, he hadn't seen any of his captors.

 _When his door buzzed, Tony didn't think twice about answering it._

 _Many of the residents knew he didn't mind helping them out with minor fix-its when the building manager's office was closed. Sure they could wait for the next day, but he really didn't like the thought of some of the older folks stumbling around in the dark if a light was burned out._

 _He didn't have a problem replacing a burned out light bulb or unclogging a sink. When Mrs. Perkins in the apartment two doors down had dropped her wedding ring down the sink, he'd gone down and retrieved it for her. She said she couldn't stand to go to sleep and think of it there in the trap with the rest of the garbage._

 _Besides the building was secure, he'd checked that out first thing before moving in. Not foolproof, but good enough. So, he'd opened his door without even checking to see who was there. When he found three strangers at his door, he was immediately at the alert. By then it was too late and he knew it._

 _Feigning sleepy casualness, he leaned against the door, "Can I help you guys?"_

 _From his vantage he could see that the hall was deserted. That was one break, he didn't want any of his neighbors to get hurt. And it was going to be bad, he knew that immediately, too._

 _The guys knew he knew._

 _They began to edge past him into the apartment, "We can do this easy or we can do this hard."_

 _He smiled at them refusing to be moved, "You guys don't know me that well, cause you'd know I always choose the hard way. Just ask my boss."_

 _He kicked out at the one nearest him, but the man was ready. He just caught Tony's foot, way too easy, and spun him and shoved. He must have hit his head on the edge of the table, cause he blacked out. When he came to, he had the mother of all headaches._

 _He was also horrified to find a body on his sofa. A body that looked an awful lot like him, wearing his clothes. And blood was everywhere. His apartment looked like a scene from some really bad slasher flick._

 _He didn't have time to think of all the ramifications before the bad guys had him up and out of the apartment, slamming the door behind them. He winced as they jerked on his arms, pulling him along forcefully. The world was spinning and he was really afraid he was going to lose the contents of his stomach all over the hall. It would serve the dirt bags right if he puked all over them._

 _It was then that he saw Mr. Kransky from across the hall crack his door. He prayed the man would just shut the door and lock it._

 _Of course he didn't. Mr. Kransky was the watch captain for the floor and he took his duties very seriously._

" _Tony, is everything alright?" He suspiciously eyed the two men holding Tony up._

 _Tony knew he was a mess. The bad guys had changed his clothes somehow, he couldn't let himself think about that one, but he was bloody and beaten. He couldn't walk by himself, the two men were on either side of him, their fingers biting into his arms, holding him in a bruising grip. He could feel the weight of a weapon pressing into his side. Before he could frame a reply, one of the bad guys spoke._

" _Our pal Tony here fell and hurt himself, we're helping him to the hospital."_

 _Tony felt a warning squeeze on his arm. '_ Shut up if you know what's good for the old man.' H _e got the message loud and clear._

 _But Mr. Kransky didn't. "Is that true, Tony?"_

 _Tony was confident of his ability to get out of the situation once he was out of the building full of old people who could be hurt because of him._

 __

 _ _He nodded, "Yeah, Mr. Kransky. Mike and Steve here are just giving me a hand. Now why don't you go back inside? I'm sure your wife will be wondering where you are."__

 _ _It was a risk, but only a small one. Mr. Kransky didn't even know it was a clue, but hopefully Gibbs would when he came looking.__

God, he hoped Gibbs came looking.

"Well, sure we're looking, Tony," hallucination Gibbs assured him, "but we're not sure what we're looking for. You've got to give us some time."

Tony groaned. Really, if he was going to be blessed with hallucinations, why couldn't it be hot girls instead of Gibbs?

"Beggars can't be choosers," Gibbs took a sip of his coffee, torturing Tony with the thought of the hot brew. He could almost smell it.

"Yeah, yeah, got you, boss," he mumbled just to keep the hallucination happy. You didn't piss off Gibbs even when he wasn't real.

"What are you doing to get yourself out of here, Tony?" hallucination Gibbs asked.

"Boss, this thing is rigged," Tony protested. "It's connected to some sort of electricity, when I touch the latch, it shocks me."

He'd been so smug when he found out that the only thing keeping him in the cage was a dinky little slide thing like you found on a pet cage. Probably because his cage was literally a dog cage. A large dog might have been comfortable enough in it, but not a large person. It didn't have enough room for him to stand in and not enough room to lay in either. All he could do was curl up on the floor in a ball or tuck himself up against the side, hunched over a little. Neither position was terribly comfortable for an extended periods of time.

That was okay, he wasn't going to be there long. They might have gotten the drop on him back at his apartment, but they weren't going to keep Anthony DiNozzo in a dog cage. It wasn't until he'd tried to slide the latch free that he discovered it was connected to some sort of electricity because the jolt he received had knocked him unconscious.

Gibbs nodded slowly, absorbing the information, "That is bad. I'll give you that."

Tony shut his eyes, hoping if he ignored the hallucination, it would go away. Surely Gibbs knew that he'd done everything he could to get out of the cage.

"It doesn't sound like you tried that hard, Anthony. But then you never did apply yourself."

Tony groaned. Oh, great, now his father was joining the party.

"You are not my father, and I don't have to listen to you," Tony informed the hallucination stiffly.

Painfully, Tony maneuvered himself in the cage so that his back was now to his father's hallucination. It really didn't change his view of the room – same grey walls, same bleak room, but it made him feel a little better defying his father.

"What? You're waiting for your boss to rescue you?"

It didn't mean he didn't still hear the hated voice.

"He'll find me," Tony asserted stubbornly.

"Does he even know you're missing? Does he care?"

Tony knew that it was his own subconscious worry speaking to him at the moment. It didn't keep the thrill of fear from sliding down his back.

Did Gibbs know he was missing?

"He'll find me. Gibbs doesn't leave people behind."

"But he also depends on you to get yourself out of situations. And what are you doing? Oh, yes, lying shivering in your cage." The voice of Tony's hallucination held that tone of contempt he always heard from his father.

Tony knew he had to stop listening to his own fears. That was what the bad guys wanted. They wanted him to give into his fears and insecurities so they could break him, so they could get whatever it was they wanted from him.

The trouble was he didn't know what it was they wanted. So far he hadn't seen his captors, they hadn't asked him anything or revealed themselves. That was part of what frustrated him so much. He needed an enemy that he could point his anger at, that he could use his own brand of DiNozzoness on. Then he would feel like he was doing something. But this silent treatment was driving him insane. Hence the hallucinations.

So far the bad guys had been using standard torture techniques on their prisoner: they'd let him doze and then shock him awake, they didn't feed him, they took his clothes. Tony wished they would just get on with the interrogation part of the program because he was getting bored with this part.

"Be careful what you wish for, DiNozzo," he heard Gibbs say just as he felt the current flow through him.

This one started at a lower voltage and felt like ants were crawling across his skin. It quickly escalated to hot fire running through his veins. He held out as long as he could, but when the tremors began and he hit his already injured head on the bars he embraced the darkness that accompanied the hot pain slicing through his head.

A bucket of water brought him back to consciousness. The world descended on him like a fist, everything in his body hurt, even his hair. He pried his eyes open to try and get a look at whomever had given him his bath, but he was too late. Whoever it was had slipped away into the shadows.

He was surprised to find that he was no longer in his cage, locked up and shivering. Now he was sitting, wet and shivering, in a chair that looked like something out of Trek.

Not one of the new ones, this was from the original, classic Trek, where women dressed like women and men were Captain Kirk. He'd always wanted to be Captain Kirk when he was growing up. The man had an entire starship at his command and the beautiful women always fell at his feet. How cool was that?

Gritting his teeth, Tony tried to gather his wits. He needed to gather intel but his attention kept wandering. What had happened to his hallucinations? They'd deserted him now when he could really use the distraction because this didn't look like anything he was going to enjoy.

There was something clamped to his head, he could feel it adding to the pain already resident there. There were IV lines attached to needles that pierced his skin. Clear fluids flowed through them into his body.

That freaked him out. What were they giving him? He struggled in place and found that he was pretty much immobilized. His captors had made sure he wasn't going any where.

"Gibbs," he whispered miserably as he felt himself succumbing to whatever it was they were pumping into his veins.

Then his world went black.

Tony woke, curled tightly into a ball, back in his cage. He was shaking badly enough that his teeth chattered as well as rattling the cage he rested in. He was cold. Colder than he'd ever been before in his life, cold inside out like he was the cold.

Shit. What had they done to him?

He clenched his eyes shut and concentrated on sitting in that damn chair. He remembered how cold it had felt, like sitting in the embrace of a metal tomb. He remembered the band that wrapped around his head tightly, feeling like it was trying to squeeze the top of his head off. He remembered the feel of the drugs as they made their way through his veins, burning like fire in his blood.

Then there was nothing but darkness and vague images of horror and carnage: bloody broken bodies, war blasted landscapes with charred corpses staring at him. He felt like he needed to take a shower, not just because of the filth he was currently residing in. He wanted to wash his brain out because he felt violated and soiled.

He tried to push himself up and the queasiness that he'd been ignoring for so long rose up within him. It was all too much and the nausea would be denied no more.

It forced its way past his throat into his mouth and he had to let it out or choke. He lay there retching long past the time when there should have been nothing more to come up. He was certain that he'd thrown up his toe nails at some point.

When it was over, he could only lay there on the bottom of the cage, shaking and miserable. He almost wished for death because it had to be more comfortable than this.

The voice, when it came startled him. He didn't know why. After all, he'd had Gibbs for company earlier, no reason Kate shouldn't join the party.

"Now that's just gross," she said primly.

"And good morning to you, too, Kate," he managed to croak out.

He didn't know why he bothered talking to the hallucinations, it just seemed the polite thing to do.

"Have you seen this, Kate?"

Oh, great and the Probie, too.

Tony just shut his eyes and let them amuse themselves. They were hallucinations, it wasn't his job to keep them company.

"What is it, McGee?" Kate asked.

"Look, they've suspended the cage so that Tony isn't lying in his own... well, you know."

Geeze, wasn't that just like the probie? He couldn't even say the word in Tony's crazed delusional state.

"Shit, McGee, the word is shit," Tony told him.

He opened his eyes to find both of them bent over examining his cage. Kate's derriere was just inches from his nose. He knew he was in bad shape when all he could muster was indignation.

"Don't you two have something better to do? Like find me?" His voice had raised at that and he winced at the shock waves it sent through his body.

"Look who woke up cranky this morning," Kate said brightly.

And he hated that about her, too. She was always so... chipper in the morning.

"You'd think he'd be grateful for the company," McGee said to hallucination Kate, offense in his tone. He shrugged, "Well if that's the way he's going to be, we can just leave." They both turned as if to walk away.

"No," the word jerked from Tony.

As annoying as they were, their company was better than being alone in the cage, not knowing when his kidnappers were going to come for him again.

"God, Tony, you are pathetic sometimes," Kate commented, bending down again until she was eye level with him. He could see the glint in her eye, she was trying to goad him.

He managed a small grin, and pushed himself up just to spite her. The nausea threatened, but he was able to control it this time. "I'm locked in a cage by unknown captors, tortured and generally just feel like crap. So, what's your excuse?"

It was feeble, but it was all he had. And besides it wasn't like the real Kate would ever know, would she?

"What did they do to you, anyway?" McGee asked. He had his pad and pen out.

"What are you doing, Probie?" Tony asked, outraged.

"I'm taking notes," McGee answered, as if that should be obvious. "This would make a great scenario for one of my novels."

"I knew it," Tony crowed. He wedged himself into the corner so he had two sides of the cage holding him up. "I knew I was the hero in your stories."

Hallucination McGee just stared at him blankly.

"What?" Tony asked with a grin, "do I have something on my teeth?"

McGee shook his head, "I never said the story was going to be about you. I just said it would make a great scenario."

"Come on, McGee, where you gonna find a better hero? I'm smart, I'm handsome, the chicks dig me..."

He ignored the rude noise from Kate.

"And I know you respect me as your superior, so who else you gonna write about?" Tony finished his list with a small shake of his head that set off a new round of shockwaves through his body.

He gripped the metal bars of his cage and attempted to breath through the pain. The world started to grow black, but he held on stubbornly. He was in control and he wasn't going to black out. Grimly he let the cold steel of the bars ground him and keep him aware. Slowly, slowly, he pushed the pain back to a manageable level.

When he could finally open his eyes again and focus blearily, he was surprised to find that his imaginary playmates were patiently waiting for him.

McGee continued as if they'd never been interrupted, "He is delusional, isn't he?" He commented to Kate.

"That's our Tony, he always lives in a dream world even when he's not being tortured by unknown captors and pumped full of strange psychotropic new drugs."

Tony pulled in a breath, "Yeah and you suck, too," he mumbled by way of a rejoinder.

Most days he enjoyed the sparring with Kate and/or McGee. It got the blood flowing and kept his wits sharp, but today it was more than he could manage. Kate seemed to sense this, too.

"Come on, DiNozzo, is that the best you can do?" she challenged him. "What did they do to you in that machine? Suck your brain out through a straw?"

"Wouldn't be much of a loss." McGee laughed at his own joke.

Tony and Kate just stared at him, until he began to look a little uncomfortable.

"What? It was funny. Come on," he protested, "on any other day it would be funny."

Tony finally relented, "Yeah, yeah, any other day it would be funny, Probie. Sorry, I'm just not feeling well today."

Kate's voice changed, it became more serious in that way she had of knowing when the fun was over and they had to get to work, "What did they do to you, Tony?"

He laughed weakly, "Don't you think I wish I knew, Kate? I just... It was bad, that's all. Hell, you're my subconscious, you probably know more what happened than I do. You tell me."

She regarded him for a moment with sad eyes and he felt the fire marching against his skin.

"I wish I could, Tony," she told him sadly. "I really wish I could."

Not again. No, not again.

"Kate," he cried desperately, "I need some help here."

The ants had increased their tempo and the pain was coursing through his body. He curled up into a ball trying to let as little of his body as possible touch the metal, but it wasn't any good.

"We're coming, Tony," he thought he heard her whisper. "Just hold on."

And then she was gone and there was just the pain.

This time when the darkness came, he welcomed it eagerly.


	3. The Rescue

Looking at the body on his table, Ducky wasn't sure how he ever could have thought it had been the young DiNozzo. Although they shared a similar physiology – height, weight and coloring, the body was slighter than Tony's, tending more towards pudginess rather than Tony's lean musculature.

"Perception is a remarkable thing," he informed the body on the table, genially. "Because you were dressed in young Anthony's clothes and found on his sofa, we all assumed you were him. But now I can tell quite plainly that you are indeed not him."

Ducky felt a little guilty that he was glad the body wasn't Tony's. After all someone had died – someone's son or brother, someone else's friend was laying on his table with their face shot off. But he couldn't help that he was still eternally grateful it wasn't Tony. He was quite endeared to the young agent and the pain of thinking he was dead had quite taken Ducky's breath away. Now he was determined to find out who it was they had found in Tony's apartment because it might give them clues as to where their friend was.

"So, has he told you who his is, Duck?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Ducky hadn't heard him come in, but he wasn't surprised. Now that they knew Tony was alive, Gibbs was going to be relentless in his search for his missing agent. He nearly felt sorry for whomever it was that had Tony, because Ducky could read murder in Gibbs' eyes.

Then, considering the body on his table was missing a face and the fact that Tony had been missing for more than 48 hours, Ducky decided he didn't feel in the least sorry.

"If only it were that easy, Jethro," Ducky answered. "I have sent his fingerprints up to Abigail. She tells me she has 'mad skills' with fingerprints."

"She does indeed," Gibbs confirmed with a wry smile. "What can you tell me about the body? Anything helpful?"

"Well, I don't know how helpful it is, but our John Doe didn't actually die from being shot in the face, although that would have been fatal if he hadn't already been dead."

"He was dead, THEN they shot him in the face?"

"Exactly. Rather gruesome don't you think?" It was a rhetorical question and he didn't wait for Gibbs to answer before continuing, "His neck was broken to be exact."

Gibbs stared at him eyes narrowed, gaze turned inward. Ducky could practically hear the wheels turning in his friend's head.

"Hell, Ducky, what is going on here?" he whispered.

Ducky knew it was the closest Gibbs would ever come to admitting his frustration and his anger.

"I was rather hoping you could tell me," he admitted.

* * *

They gathered around the plasma as McGee gave the breakdown from the video surveillance tapes they'd retrieved from Tony's apartment manager. After the initial euphoria of realizing that Tony was still alive had worn off, they all realized that they needed to find him. Fast.

"The building is fairly high end, so they have a pretty sophisticated security set up. I was very impressed to find that…" McGee began. At a frown from Gibbs, he hurried on "Yes... Well, the tapes are video only, but I think they give a pretty clear picture of what happened on Friday night. This is Tony coming home about 10:30 in the evening."

He hit the control and the screen lit up to show the hallway outside Tony's door. They could see the stairs and the elevator from the camera's vantage point. Tony came charging up the stairs, a bag from the video store dangling from one arm and a grocery bag in the other. As he passed the door at the end the hall, just barely in the camera's range, he paused to knock.

A door opened, but just a crack so they couldn't see who was behind the door.

"That's Mrs. Miller," Kate volunteered from her perch on her desk. "She said Tony brought her a movie she'd requested at the video store."

Sure enough, when Tony withdrew a video from the bag, a small white haired lady stepped out of the apartment to accept it and kiss him on the cheek.

"This is very sweet, McGee. But is it helping us find Tony or whoever took him?" Gibbs asked pointedly.

"Uh, no, boss," he fast-forwarded the video, speaking as the video progressed. Mostly all they saw was an empty hall with the occasional person walking by in fast forward. It might have been comical to see the more elderly residents walking by at a brisk pace under any other circumstances. "There's nothing on the tape for about an hour, then three guys get out of the elevator. Now they make a real effort to keep their faces from being seen by the camera."

McGee hit the control and the video paused as the doors opened on the elevator to reveal the men, they were wearing ball caps and their faces were tilted down. It was impossible to get a good view of them. After a moment McGee let the video continue and they watched as the tape continued.

The men headed straight for Tony's door. One of them knocked while the other two looked nervously around the hallway.

It didn't take long for Tony to answer. At first it didn't look like he knew the danger he was in, leaning casually against the frame, smiling at the strangers at his door.

"Come on, Tony," Gibbs remarked to no one in particular.

Then Tony kicked out at one of the men. They watched in horrified silence as the man caught Tony's foot. He twisted it viciously and shoved Tony into the apartment. The men entered behind him and the door closed behind them.

"Son of a bitch," Gibbs swore, "wasn't there a security guard watching the monitors?"

"Seems there was a call just then from one of the residents reporting a prowler," McGee said. "He went to investigate just about the time our guys showed up at Tony's apartment. By the time he got back, everything was quiet."

"Is there anything else?" Gibbs asked, sarcasm heavy in his voice.

McGee did his best not to flinch. He knew Gibbs was angry. Hell, he was angry. If the guard had been doing his job, they would have known about Tony's abduction when it happened instead of 48 and more hours later. Tim couldn't let himself think about what could have been done to Tony in that much time.

"There is, boss."

He clicked the play button and fast-forwarded the tape a little more. The door to Tony's apartment opened and three men came out. Two men were walking with a third draped between them.

While he was dressed in the clothes of the third man who'd come to Tony's door, it was very clear to those watching that it was Tony leaving with two of the men, an injured Tony. The security camera was of a very good quality so they could see the blood dripping down the side of his face in vivid color.

They watched as the men started to leave, but were intercepted by a neighbor from across the hall.

"That's Mr. Kransky. He's the watch captain for the floor. He thought there was something hinky about the guys, but Tony told him everything was fine. He did say Tony talked about his wife who had been dead for a year. He thought Tony was just confused from the head wound," Kate supplied, consulting the notebook in her hand.

"Hell, he was sending us a message. He was hoping we'd come looking for him and he was sending an SOS," Gibbs said. He squinted at the image of the men on the video, something nudging at his brain, "Wait where's the third guy who went into the apartment?" he asked.

"We think that's the body down on Ducky's table," McGee answered. "He was the right general size. They just changed the clothes between him and Tony. So, we would think Tony was dead when we found him."

"But what possible good would it do them for us to think Tony was dead?" Gibbs challenged. "It could only gain them a few hours before we figured out that it wasn't Tony anyway."

Kate and McGee exchanged a glance. McGee really wished Tony was there. As much as he drove Tim crazy sometime, he did admire Tony's instincts and his ability to reason what the criminal element was up to.

" _Come on, Probie, think_ ," Tim could hear Tony's voice in his ear.

"Maybe they didn't really care if it bought them any time," Tim said slowly, thinking out loud.

" _Because?_ " Tony's voice in his head prompted.

"Maybe they were going to get rid of the guy anyway," Kate picked up for him. "They just did it this way to mess with us?"

"Maybe. Maybe. I hate maybe. I wants facts," Gibbs barked. "Do we have any actual facts here? Any leads to Tony? These bastards have had him for going on 50 plus hours. Do you know what they could have done to him in that time?"

" _You tell 'em, boss_ ," the Tony in Tim's head crowed.

"If they were going to kill him…" Kate began.

"If they wanted something from him, they've had more than enough time to get it from him," Gibbs interrupted her. "He could be dead now. What do we have? Is there anything else on that tape to help us?"

McGee looked as if he'd rather be anywhere but there, but he answered all the same, "We do have them on the camera leaving the building," he cued the tape and let it play. It showed the two men shoving Tony into a black van sitting on the street in front of the building.

"License plate, McGee?" Gibbs asked.

McGee shook his head, "It's been removed, boss. The van is pretty non-descript, no special features or markings to go on."

"Well that's too damned bad, McGee. You're going to get all the footage from the traffic cameras in the area, any bank videos that might have picked it up, any damn thing that might have picked up that van and find out where it went."

"Already on it, boss," McGee answered.

He was saved from more of Gibbs' tirade by the phone.

Gibbs picked it up, growling, "Gibbs."

He listened for a moment and then hung up. "Well, what are you two waiting for? I'm going to Abby's lab, when I get back, I want to see the two of you finding Tony."

"On it, boss," McGee called out to his departing back.

Only he could hear Tony cheering them on.

* * *

Gibbs knew that McGee and Kate were doing everything they could to find Tony. The problem was, he just kept thinking of everything that could be done to the human body in 48 hours. It wasn't pretty.

Tony was tough, he knew that. He'd hold out as long as he could. But anyone could be broken. Whatever the people who took him wanted, they'd have it by now. Gibbs just hoped they'd be able to put the pieces of Tony back together once they found him.

The music in Abby's lab was at an all-time high. He let it wash over him as he entered the lab. He didn't turn it off this time. If it helped her work, then let it play.

"Abby?" he shouted.

"In here, Gibbs," she called.

He followed the sound of her voice to find her in front of the computer.

"Do you have something, Abby?"

"Hey, don't you owe me a Caf-Pow?" she regarded him in disappointment.

"Abs...," he started impatiently. He took a breath and started over. "It's been a hell of a day, Abby, can I give you an IOU?"

She smiled brightly, "Sure thing, Gibbs. Tony can bring it to me."

It was one of the things he treasured about Abby, her eternal optimism. Sometimes she had to be the optimist for both of them.

"Do you have something for me, Abs? Or was this just a social call?"

"What do you think?" she teased, twirling a ponytail with one finger.

"I think you wouldn't have called me down here if you didn't have something."

"Exactly," she smiled at him pleased. "Because I know that you're doing everything to find our boy, Tony, and I wouldn't interrupt that if it weren't important."

"And what you've found is?" he asked in what he thought was a reasonably calm tone.

"Guess," she said.

He was tired and he needed to have something to hold onto, "Just tell me, Abby."

"You're no fun, Gibbs."

"So you often tell me. Now what have you found?"

She paused for dramatic effect and then announced, "I know who Mr. John Doe is."

There was silence between them punctuated by the heavy beat of her music.

"Well?" she asked impatiently, brow raised expectantly.

He sighed; he was going to have to say it. "You have mad skills, Abby. Now who is he?"

She was nearly dancing in her excitement, "You are not going to believe this, Gibbs. I checked it twice just to make sure, I was so surprised…"

"Abby," Gibbs shouted in his impatience.

"He's an FBI agent, Gibbs, Mike Saunders. He's one of Fornell's guys."

"Abby, Tony owes you and your mad skills dinner," Gibbs said as he swept her up in a hug. Then he was out of the lab before she even had time to hug him back.

* * *

Gibbs didn't even give Fornell time to get out of the elevator when he arrived. As soon as the doors opened, he stepped inside, punching the stop button. The elevator was instantly plunged into the half-light of the emergency lights. He handed the extra coffee he held to Fornell without a word.

Fornell accepted it and took a drink before speaking.

It was funny, but they'd known each other so long, that the silence was as comfortable between them as any conversation. They understood each other. Fornell had heard about the kid's death, he knew that Gibbs would be in super-agent mode right now trying to track down Tony's killer. He was waiting for Gibbs to speak, letting him take his time.

As much as he was grateful that Tony was alive, Gibbs was not looking forward to telling his friend that it was his man that was dead. The silence stretched out in the elevator. Gibbs could feel Tony's time passing, like sand slipping between his fingers and yet he still couldn't bring himself to speak.

Finally Fornell broke the silence, "I heard about DiNotzo. I'm really sorry, he was a good agent."

Fornell had definite opinions about DiNozzo, Gibbs had heard them a few times. He was undisciplined, a wild card, he was going to go off half-cocked someday and get somebody killed. But he was also a damn good agent and Gibbs suspected Fornell would have taken him in the FBI any day if he thought he could have gotten him.

"About that," Gibbs replied after a sip of his own coffee. It was bitter and strong and hot, just the way he liked it. "The reports of DiNozzo's death might have been a little exaggerated."

That made Fornell frown. Gibbs had called him to NCIS for a reason and it wasn't to talk about an agent's death. "I heard you found his body."

"We found a body. Turns out it wasn't DiNozzo's."

Gibbs could see in his face that Fornell suddenly knew what was coming, but he asked anyway, "You have a name for that body yet?"

"We do, Abby ID'd him. Mike Saunders. Name ring a bell?"

Fornell ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, suddenly he looked inexpressibly weary. Gibbs knew how he felt.

"Yeah… Yeah, it does. He went dark a couple of days ago. We've been looking for him."

Gibbs took another drink of his coffee. Time was of the essence but he knew he had to give his friend time. It was hard to find out you'd just lost a member of your team. Gibbs had first-hand knowledge of how that felt.

"What was he into?" Gibbs asked when he felt that he'd stretched the time as much as he could.

Fornell sighed. It was heavy and sad, but there was no time now for grief. He could do that later after they'd found the missing agent. The dead would wait, it was the living that needed them.

"We had Intel that there was a terrorist's cell operating here in DC, planning an attack here. Mikey was our inside guy. He contacted me… what…? Three days ago, said they were grabbing somebody as part of the operation. Said he'd get back with me, then he never contacted me again. We've been looking for him… I just thought… Shit!" He turned and hit the wall.

When he spoke again, he didn't turn back to Gibbs, he talked to the wall, "He was a good guy, you know. Real idealistic."

"I'm sorry," Gibbs said softly. He reached out and squeezed Fornell's shoulder, just a quick squeeze, all the man would allow, and dropped his hand.

"I know, Jethro," Fornell turned back, his grief put away although it still lurked there, Gibbs could see it in the shadow behind his eyes. "Let's go find your guy."

Gibbs punched the button that restarted the elevator and the door opened.

* * *

" _So, what you doing, Katey?"_ Kate could almost see Tony lounging on the edge of her desk, foot swinging idly, banging against the edge, annoying her to no end.

It was funny that he was so much a part of them, their team, that even when he wasn't there, he was. Encouraging them, and cheering on their efforts to find him. She'd never admit it to him, but she'd learned a lot from him, she was a better investigator because of him. He was just so damn smug about it. It came easy to him and she had to work harder at it. If she were ever missing, she'd want Tony on the case, because she knew he'd never stop until he found her. Of course then she'd never hear the end of it. But that was fine too.

"Do you think we're really going to find him?" Tim asked quietly from his desk, his voice pitched just loud enough that she could hear.

"Of course we are, McGee." She wouldn't allow herself to think otherwise.

But McGee wouldn't let it go. "I know the statistics, Kate, they're not good."

"I know the statistics, too, McGee," she punched the keys of her computer furiously as she worked. "But this is Tony we're talking about here. He's annoying and a chauvinist, but he's also stubborn."

" _You tell him, Kate,"_ Tony nodded in approval.

"Yeah… Yeah… You're right." Tim didn't sound like he believed her.

"Listen Tim, He's going to survive just so he can give us hell about not rescuing him sooner."

That made Tim smile. "Just so he survives."

The elevator opened then and Gibbs and Fornell stepped out. Gibbs blew out of the elevator like a tornado, or maybe the better analogy would be a hurricane. Because he was the eye of the storm, it was the things in his path that tended to be pulled up by the roots and destroyed.

"You two got anything yet?" Gibbs asked.

" _Kate has something,"_ the imaginary Tony sitting on the edge of her desk volunteered.

"I think I might have something," Kate said, knowing no one else could hear Tony but her.

Gibbs didn't speak just raised an impatient eyebrow, prompting her.

"Well, I thought the prowler call coming at the same time Tony was abducted was suspicious," she began.

" _Good work, Agent Todd,"_ Tony approved, _"we're going to make a detective of you yet."_

"You think?" was Gibbs succinct contribution.

"So, I pulled the phone records and found out that the call came from a cell phone. Mike Saunders cell phone."

There might have been a mumbled expletive from Fornell, Kate wasn't sure, but Tony and Gibbs was nodding at her to continue.

"So I pulled the records for Mike Saunders. Up until three days ago there was a daily call to Fornell," the reason those calls stopped hung like a black cloud over their heads. She hurried on, "but all the rest of the calls where to one number. I tracked it down to a warehouse, down by the docks. It's supposed to be abandoned."

"Good work, Kate," Gibbs was already in motion, the eye of the hurricane moving on. "You and McGee get your gear and meet me downstairs…"

"I'm going with you, Gibbs," Fornell braved the hurricane to face Gibbs down.

"I never doubted that you would, Fornell, have a team meet us there, we're probably going to need them. I'm going up to talk to the director, we'll meet in ten."

Then Gibbs was gone. Kate took a moment to gather herself.

" _What are you waiting for, Katey?" Tony stood up, bouncing on the balls of his feet._

God, she really hated it when he called her that.

" _You need to rescue me. Come on, let's get a move on here."_ He made a shooing motion with his hands.

"McGee," she asked as she pulled out her gun, checking it before she thrust it into its holster. "Have you been seeing anything…. strange today?"

"Strange?" He looked up at her, considering her question, "What? You mean like an imaginary Tony hanging around telling me how to do my job?" He peered at her cautiously to judge her reaction.

"Yeah," she nodded, "like that."

He gave a sideways glance to Tony's empty desk, "No, not at all. You?"

"Me? No!" She slung her pack over her shoulder and headed to the elevator, "We should go."

He matched her stride for stride, "We should."

She could hear Tony's laughter following them as the elevator doors closed behind them.

* * *

Time was of the essence; every second that passed now meant they were that much closer to Tony's death. Gibbs knew he wasn't dead yet, he couldn't explain how he knew it, he just knew. But he could feel the light that was Tony dimming; he didn't have much time left.

Gibbs lifted the binoculars, surveying the warehouse. It certainly appeared to be deserted with broken and boarded-up windows and trash littering the streets in front of the building. The whole area looked as if it hadn't been needed for useful commerce in quite some time. Smelling of refuse and rot, there wasn't even the usual assortment of homeless and abandoned people you might expect to find in an area like this, which was suspicious by itself.

He was hyper aware of everything: the snugness of the vest he wore, the ear piece of the radio he wore sitting in his ear connecting him to his people, the sun as it began to settle in the west, the quiet that seemed to surround them and cut them off from the rest of the world. He could feel Kate and McGee, their anxiety ramping up. They needed to rescue Tony as much as he did.

He narrowed his focus to the building in front of them. If this really was the hub of a terrorist cell, if Tony was inside, shouldn't there be something more? Like a big red X on the side of the building? If only their job was ever that easy.

"Gibbs?" The radio in his ear crackled with Abby's voice.

"Here, Abs," he answered never taking his eyes from the building looming in front of them, scanning for signs that this was where they were supposed to be. "You have the building up?"

"Yeah, Gibbs," her voice was breathless with the excitement of the moment. "There's not much inside, I have one body in there. Gibbs," her own anxiety was nearly palpable, "It's not moving much, could just be someone who found a way in out of the cold."

"Let's hope it's Tony," he answered tightly. "Anyone else in there?"

"No, Gibbs, just the one."

"Good work, Abs."

"Gibbs," she nearly shouted, her anxiety was so great.

"Abby?" He took a breath and pushed down his own impatience.

"You'll let me know if it's Tony, right? And that he's okay?"

She had the hardest job of all sometimes, staying in her lab helping however she could there. But also having to wait until someone remembered to call her and tell her what was happening in the field.

"You'll be the first to know, Abby," he promised her.

"Fornell," he knew the agent would be there, waiting for instructions from Gibbs. It was his man, it was his operation.

"I'm here, Gibbs," he heard.

"We're going in the front. You take your team in the back. You heard Abby? There's only one person inside?"

"Affirmative. I hope it's DiNotzo," Fornell said.

"Me, too." Gibbs took a breath, focusing himself for what was coming. "Let's go."

They left the relative safety of their vehicle and crouched down beside it for a moment. He nodded and motioned for McGee and Kate to go left and right and he went straight – right down the center, straight to the front door. They sprinted across the street, zig- zagging to make a harder target for anyone who might be watching and targeting them.

Gibbs scanned everything as he ran. Even if there was no one in the building, it didn't mean there weren't snipers in the other buildings, down the street, hidden in alleys and corners. He'd been in combat and this felt like that, not knowing where the enemy was going to come from or when they might strike.

Then they were across the street, pressed against the building, making themselves as small a target as they could. He caught Kate's eye and nodded. She leaned in, trying the door. She jumped back surprised when it swung open under her touch, screeching from age or disuse.

Gibbs tucked and rolled into the building. When he was inside, he was instantly up with his gun trained on…. Nothing.

The interior of the building had been completely gutted. To his left a concrete wall rose ten, twelve feet to form a single room in the huge echoing space. In front of it was a bank of machines with a row of monitors, but otherwise the building was completely deserted.

Fornell and his men could be seen making a similar entrance from the back of the building and they were as equally stunned by what they found, just halting in astonishment, their guns raised and readied.

Gibbs went straight for the mystery room.

"Fornell, you and your guys secure the area," he ordered, "Kate, go around, see if there's a way into this room."

Tony was inside, he knew it.

Acknowledging his order with a tight nod, Kate headed off disappearing quickly around a corner. Gibbs approached the machinery with gun raised. Even if the terrorists had known they were coming, and that scared Gibbs with thoughts of a spy in their midst, there was no way they were going to go without leaving a parting gift.

"McGee, what is this?" he gesture taking in the machine and the row of monitors above them.

McGee was already studying the bank of machinery avidly; his eyes sparkling like a kid on Christmas morning.

"It looks like a security center, boss," he said slowly as he studied the machinery. He reached forward and flipped a switch and the whole thing lit up, the monitors filled with snowy static.

Gibbs jumped back. "Hey, McGee, was that smart? You could have blown us up."

McGee's face fell, "I… uh… really, boss, I didn't even think of that."

Then the monitors cleared up and they saw who was on them and there was a shocked moment of silence.

"Oh, God, Tony," McGee breathed, he took a step back, his mouth agape in horror at what they saw.

Gibbs had seen people who looked like that before, but he was pretty sure McGee never had except maybe in a textbook.

There was no mistaking him for anyone else this time; he was displayed from every possible angle. It was Tony, curled tightly in a small metal cage inside the concrete room. Gibbs felt his jaw tighten as he took in the state of his agent: the stained tattered shirt, the jagged bloody wound down the side of his face, the way he lay deathly still.

"Son of a bitch! Kate," Gibbs shouted, "We need to get in that room and we need to get in there now."

"Gibbs," she answered, frustration evident in her voice, "there's no way in that I can find."

Gibbs took a breath, his eyes never leaving the monitors, looking for some sign that Tony was still alive. There was none. Tony just laid there, his fingers intertwined in the metal of his cage, his knuckles white.

"Boss?" McGee's voice was uncertain, "What if this feed isn't to the inside of the room? What if it's from someplace else? Tony could be miles away right now."

Gibbs jaw set, "He's in there McGee, he has to be. Now get me in!"

McGee nodded in his distraction, then his eyes lit up, "Boss, look. I think, this," he pointed to a recessed button, "I think this opens it." McGee pushed the button before Gibbs could stop him.

"Dammit, McGee…"

McGee was saved from Gibbs' furious lecture by a grinding noise from the room in front of them. A door swung slowly outwards, granting them admittance to the concrete room.

"McGee, you stay there," Gibbs shouted, even as he ran for the opening in the wall. He intercepted Kate who was running from the other direction.

"Stay here," he ordered her tersely. He had no idea what kind of tricks would be left inside and he wasn't going to risk any more of his people.

"Gibbs," she began to protest and he didn't bother to answer, just slipped through the door into the chamber.

And there it was.

The cage with Tony inside. It was suspended from the ceiling by thick cables, not quite touching the floor. The room was rank with the stink produced from fear and waste mingling together.

Gibbs stomach grumbled in protest and he huffed out a breath through his mouth. He took a moment to let himself become accustomed to the smell because there was no way he was going back for a mask, there was no way was he leaving without Tony now that he'd finally found him.

Gibbs clutched his weapon tightly, it was probably better that the terrorists hadn't stuck around to be caught, because he'd shoot them right then and there if he had them.

As much as he wanted to rush forward and assure himself that his agent was alive, he knew he couldn't. His gut was telling him that there were booby traps left in the room for them. He had to go slow or they would all die.

"Tony," he called quietly, hoping for some sign of life from the man in the cage.

There was nothing.

The way Tony was laying, Gibbs couldn't even tell if he was breathing.

Not moving from his position by the door, he scanned the room. There were no visible wires that he could see, nothing to indicate a trap. Still, he moved forward slowly, testing each step for weakness in the floor, any give that might indicate explosives under his feet. It was going to take him forever to reach Tony this way, but as long as he kept moving forward that was all that mattered.

-NCIS-

Kate stood at the door of the chamber, trembling. She could see him, she could see Tony, and he looked…

She couldn't even think it. She needed to go in, but she knew why Gibbs had ordered her to stay out. There was every likelihood the room was riddled with traps to make it harder for them to get to Tony.

God, she needed answers. Why had someone done this? What did they want? It frightened her that one of their team could be taken without anyone being the wiser for two damn days. It frightened her even more to see Tony reduced to lying in a lifeless heap.

She had imagined they'd find him beaten and bruised, but still the wisecracking Tony who could infuriate her with one leering smile.

She watched breathlessly as Gibbs made his way slowly to Tony. He tested each step, his gaze constantly sweeping the room looking for anything he might have missed.

"Fornell," she heard Gibbs speak, both in her ear and the weird echo from the concrete room, "get an ambulance, and get your people out of here, I don't know what's going to happen."

"Already on it," Fornell assured him. "Did you find him?"

"We found him. Listen, Fornell, I'll get back with you."

Kate just stood, watching impotently as slowly, so slowly, Gibbs made his way closer to Tony.

-NCIS-

McGee watched on the monitors as Gibbs got closer and closer to the cage that contained Tony. The angles of the monitors were very thorough in showing him Tony's condition.

Tim could see the scabbed-over wound on the side of his head, it was red and angry. The rest of his face was one massive black and blue bruise. Tony's t-shirt was ripped and dirty, and Tony himself was filthy, all the way to the bottoms of his feet.

It was morbidly fascinating and he couldn't help comparing Tony's current state to the techniques he'd learned about torture. It was just the way his mind worked, trying to make sense of what he saw. But there was no sense to be made of the mindless violence that had been visited upon his friend.

He shivered and finally had to turn away, his stomach rebelling at what he saw.

It was then that he saw the spot on the floor. Perhaps fifteen feet from the room and the machinery, there was a clear circle of dust in the floor where something had been sitting. There was also a track in the dust that marked lines running from whatever had sat there to the machines.

"Kate," he called, waving her over.

He watched her internal debate, caught between her desire to stay and watch Gibbs progress and McGee's urgent beckoning. Knowing that she could be no use to Gibbs she moved reluctantly to McGee's side.

"Do you see it?" He asked, gesturing to the disturbed dust.

"Yeah," she moved around to get a better look, careful to disturb nothing. There was no telling what was evidence and what was nothing, but she was taking no chances. "Something heavy sat here."

"What do you think it…"

A siren that echoed throughout the building interrupted them. It was followed by an urgent call from within the concrete chamber.

"McGee, I need you now," Gibbs shouted, "Turn this thing off…"

-NCIS-

Gibbs made steady progress forward and still Tony didn't move in the cage. Gibbs refused to think that his instincts could be wrong. He refused to even consider the possibility that Tony could be dead.

It only seemed like it took forever, but at last Gibbs found himself standing next to the cage that imprisoned his friend. Instead of being relieved, his gut tightened even further. He shouldn't have been able to make it this far without tripping something.

"Tony?" He called again.

Even if Tony was alive, that didn't mean that something terrible hadn't been done to him. All the evidence certainly pointed to that fact. He really needed some sign from Tony that he was still home, that they were rescuing something beside the empty husk that had once housed Tony DiNozzo. Gibbs had seen men who came away from being tortured and ended up in homes being spoon fed and having their diapers changed. Damned if that was going to happen to Tony.

Up until the moment that those monitors had come on, part of him had been expecting Tony to meet them at the door with the bad guys in cuffs and Tony saying, "What took you so long, boss?"

He didn't realize how much he'd been counting on that happening.

Slowly he circled the cage, looking for some way that the cage was booby-trapped and he couldn't see anything, nothing, just the thick cables that suspended the cage from the floor. He'd nearly made the full circumference when a slight trembling alerted him to the fact that Tony was waking up, finally.

He put away his gun and squatted so he was eye level.

"DiNozzo?" he called sharply in the voice of command that Tony always responded to. It was cruel, but it was also usually effective.

He was rewarded by a sliver of an eye peaking up at him, a small breath that stirred the shoulders.

"Gibbs," Tony's voice was raspy, "Glad you're back." He licked cracked and dry lips with the tip of his tongue and found no relief. "I was getting lonely."

Gibbs didn't even wonder at Tony's strange words. There was no way of knowing what he'd been through during his captivity. They'd figure it out once he was in a hospital, safe. He stood and scanned the cage, spying the latch he moved there, studying it. It seemed simple enough, slide the latch out and free Tony. Funny, he didn't think it was going to be that easy.

Before he could even think about touching the latch, an alarm sounded and Tony's body jerked. He cried out and curled into an even tighter ball, if that was possible.

Gibbs decided the time for caution was over, he needed to get Tony out of the cage and he needed him out now. He reached out to touch the latch, but it was too late. He was thrown backwards by the electricity flowing through the highly conductive metal.

His fingers tingled from the spark, but once he was no longer in contact with the metal he was alright. Tony didn't have anywhere to go though. The electricity flowed through the metal of his cage into his body.

"Gibbs," Tony cried out in distress. "Oh, God, not again.

"McGee," Gibbs shouted, "I need you now. Turn this thing off…"

-NCIS-

McGee raced to the bank of machinery, Kate close at his back. They could see on the monitors the bright blue spark of the electricity coursing through the cage, Tony bucking as it coursed through his body.

Instantly McGee flipped the switch that had turned the machine on, hoping it would turn it off. It was useless now. The energy just kept flowing through the cage. Beside him, Kate had her gun up and was targeting the machine.

"No, Kate," McGee caught her arm and stopped her. He wasn't for sure, but he had a feeling if she did that, it was going to blow everything up. Circling he scanned the machine, his mind whirling, looking for something, anything... Then he saw it.

There was a thin wire going out of the back of the machine disappearing into the floor. It was so fine that he almost missed it in his haste. He knelt, pulling the knife from his pocket. He didn't stop to think and debate whether what he was doing was the right thing, because it was the only thing he knew to do.

With a deliberate jerk, he cut the wire. There was a blue arc of energy that threw him across the floor and the last thing he heard before slamming into the floor was Gibbs screaming for an ambulance.


	4. Safe at Last

Gibbs knew there was going to be a trap. He had no idea how it had been tripped, maybe it was as simple as something that was on a timer and they'd tripped it the second they came through the door. It didn't make him feel any less helpless as he stood by doing nothing while Tony moaned in pain from the electricity coursing through his body.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't just stand there. He pulled two latex gloves from a pocket and put them both on the same hand. He only touched as much of the latch as he had to and slid it aside.

"Tony," he called desperately.

If Tony could just get across the cage, Gibbs would pull him out. He had to do something even if they both ended up electrocuted. But Tony wasn't moving, he pressed himself against the back of the cage shaking as more and more voltage went through the cage and into his body.

Gibbs swung the wire door open as far as it would go. His intention was to reach inside and pull Tony out when Tony's body went limp inside the cage with a suddenness that alarmed Gibbs.

"Get an ambulance now," he shouted for anyone that might be listening.

Grabbing Tony's shoulders, Gibbs gulled him from the cage. Tony's body was limp in his arms, he didn't even stir as Gibbs wrestled him from the small enclosure. He brushed the edge of the door and jerked away only to find that the electricity had been turned off, which meant McGee must have figured out how to turn the damn thing off. It was a small break, right now he'd take whatever he could get.

With infinite care, he laid Tony out on the concrete, cradling his head so it wouldn't impact on the hard ground. He wasn't really surprised to find Tony's eyes were open and peering up at him.

"Gibbs?" His whole body was shaking in reaction to the electrical shock, but he reached out a hand and snagged Gibbs' sleeve.

"Real?" he mumbled.

Gibbs nodded, not really trusting his voice at the moment.

"No! Not real!" As weak as he was, as hurt as he was, Tony jerked away from him.

There was fear in Tony's eyes that hurt worse than any wound Gibbs had ever had. He knew the bastards had hurt Tony, but to make him doubt even his friends was going too far. Tony scuttled away, nearly crawling as he put as much distance between himself and Gibbs as he could.

"Tony, listen to me, it's really me, Gibbs," he spoke quietly, soothingly, "Kate and McGee are here, too, even Fornell."

Tony stopped at Gibbs' voice and looked back over his shoulder, confusion in his eyes. Tears were running down his cheeks, washing a track through the accumulated grime and filth.

"Really here?" Tony whispered. He almost wavered; Gibbs could see he wanted to believe. Then he pushed himself away, even though Gibbs could see the effort it took. "No."

Gibbs edged closer. They needed to get Tony to medical help and fast, but he didn't want to have to do it by force. He'd endured enough already.

"Really, Tony, we found you. We're here to take you home."

Tony had reached the wall, there was nowhere else for him to go. There was terror in his eyes, fear that none of this was real, and he was going to wake up again back in the cage, alone.

Gibbs took a chance. "Get with the program, DiNozzo," he forced the harsh voice of command, "don't make me come over there and hit you." He held his breath waiting for Tony's reaction.

When it came there was a ghost of a smile on his lips, "Took you long enough," Tony said before his eyes rolled back and he slipped down the wall unconscious.

-NCIS-

The force of the electrical blast knocked McGee across the floor. He lay where he was thrown like a broken doll with arms and legs askew.

Kate dropped to her knees beside him automatically feeling for a pulse. She almost screamed when there was nothing beneath her fingertips. She bent down with her ear to his mouth trying to feel his breath on her cheek, but there was nothing.

"Come on, Tim," she shouted at him, "don't do this."

Quickly she got rid of the Kevlar vest he was wearing. She tilted his head back and checked to make sure the airway was clear.

"I could use some help here," she breathed into the radio.

Placing her hands firmly on his chest, she began chest compressions. Before she got to 15, there was someone at her side, one of Fornell's agents. She nodded at 15 and the man bent over and breathed twice into McGee's mouth. Kate began the next round of compressions that would keep her friend's blood flowing until his heart started beating on its own again.

She could hear the alarm still going off around them, but she couldn't spare any attention to wonder what it was or what might be going on. Tim's life depended on her. Two more breaths and she started on the compressions again.

Someone grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. It was Fornell. She tried to jerk herself free. She was totally focused on McGee, he needed her.

"Agent Todd," he shouted at her, "we have got to get out of this building now."

She tried to plant her feet and refuse to move. He just pulled her along with a firm hand hooked under her arm. When she saw that two of his men were carrying McGee, she followed along more willingly.

"Gibbs? Tony?" She asked, realizing she hadn't yet seen them emerge from the concrete room.

"We're getting them, Agent Todd, now go."

He gave her a push toward the door. Seeing the men carrying McGee disappear through it, she stumbled after them into the late-afternoon sunlight. After the gloom of the building, it nearly blinded her. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. She blinked, her eyes tearing up. She wiped them frantically, needing to figure out what had happened to McGee.

She was gratified to find an ambulance already there, parked down the street. Tim was laid gently on a gurney and the paramedics swiftly began their work.

"Is he going to be alright?" she asked anxiously.

The paramedic didn't even look up as he answered, "He's going to be fine, ma'am. Just let us do our job. What's his name?"

"Tim," she answered, "Timothy McGee."

"What happened?"

"He was electrocuted," she wrapped her arms around herself, cold despite the sunshine as she remembered Tim's body fly through the air.

"Alright," the paramedic looked up and smiled, trying to reassure her, "he really is going to be alright. If you'll just stand over there, we'll let you know when we're ready to transport him." He nodded to indicate the sidewalk.

She moved away a few feet, close enough she could monitor their work, but far enough away that she wouldn't be in the way. There was no way she was leaving Tim alone. She spared a glance for the building, hoping to see Gibbs and Tony emerge soon.

-NCIS-

Fornell shoved Kate towards the door and watched long enough to make sure she was heading in that direction before moving into the concrete room to get Gibbs and DiNozzo. The weird alarm was still sounding and he knew it wasn't good. Weird alarms never were.

He found Gibbs kneeling on the floor next to the kid's body. DiNozzo was slumped over unconscious. He didn't look good at all.

"Gibbs," he called urgently. "We need to get out of here now."

Gibbs nodded and put an arm under Tony's shoulder. "I need a hand here."

Fornell was already there, pulling Tony up on the other side. Between them, they supported Tony's body as they ran from the building; the warm sunshine was welcome after the dim interior of the building. The alarm went silent and for one moment Fornell thought he was wrong, that it had been a false alarm. Then there was an explosion behind them as the building blew.

They both dropped to the ground, using their bodies to shield Tony from the flaming debris now falling from the sky.

-NCIS-

 _Tony found himself wandering in a bleak, barren landscape with no memory of how he got there or what had happened. Around him the buildings were blasted into rubble, the roadway he walked on was cracked and buckled. Cars were strewn like children's toys, upended and stacked like cordwood. Stopping to peer inside, he found that some even had the remains of their passengers still strapped inside, fetid, rotting corpses grinning out at Tony. They were privy to the punch line of a joke that he had yet to hear._

 _While the sun could be seen shining dimly overhead, it was obscured by thick black smog that smothered everything making visibility only a scant few feet. It swirled around Tony enfolding him like a shroud._

 _He walked in the scorched remnant of a city, feeling like a ghost as he stumbled through the rubble. He picked up shattered objects, trying to make some sense of where he found himself, looking for something familiar to tell him where he was or what had happened._

 _There was no bird song, no sound of the wind through the trees, the trees being barren stumps devoid of life. There was no greens or yellows or bright blues in the place he found himself. All was black, grey or muddy charcoal._

" _Imagine if you will the end of the world." He talked to himself because the silence was so complete and overwhelming. "Our hero, young Anthony DiNozzo finds himself alone and destitute with no friends and no memory of the events that have led him to this place._

" _He sees a signpost up ahead and finds that he has found his way... to the Twilight Zone. Duh du, duh du, duh du, duh du," he sang to himself._

 _He found it odd that his voice held no echo in the thick smog, it was flat and pressed in upon him, weighing him down._

" _Hello?" he called, needing to find some semblance of life in the place. Someone had to be left, he couldn't be the only one left alive. Where were Gibbs and Abby or Kate and McGee? Hell he'd take Ducky and Palmer if it meant he wouldn't be alone._

" _Hell, Ducky and Palmer might even be useful," he said as he surveyed the carnage that was literally at his feet._

 _He ran then, seeking something of life, some small sign that there was something alive beside himself. There had to be some survivors to whatever terrible fate had befallen the city. And yet he found nothing, just desecration where there had once been life._

 _Falling to his knees, he tried to breath through the black smog. The smell of the place was suffocating him as much as the smog that covered everything. The smell was cloying, it clung to him like a live thing, refusing to be brushed off or ignored._

 _It was the scent of the dead that surrounded him wherever he looked, black and charred beyond recognition. They had been left to rot where they lay, men and women and children at play. The carnage was on such a massive scale, he couldn't comprehend it._

 _How could someone do this? He wondered, grief-stricken at the death he found wherever he looked._

 _How could someone kill all these people and live with themselves afterwards?_

 _Stumbling along, no longer paying attention to where he was going, he came to a place he thought he recognized. Wildly he tore at the debris to unearth a sign – Naval Criminal Investigative Services Headquarters. It took him a full five seconds of staring blankly at the sign to realize the implications. He was in DC. The barren blasted landscape around him was his home – Washington, DC._

 _He dropped the sign and backed up, suddenly desperate to be away._

 _He didn't want to see this._

 _He didn't want to know._

 _He ran blindly, not looking where he was going, just running. In his blind haste he nearly ran over the edge of a precipice. He tottered on the edge, looking down into a deep chasm._

 _A single ray of sun broke through the clouds then and he could see what lay within the hole, and then he wished he couldn't. For the chasm was a grave that was filled with layers of bodies. All manner of horrors had been visited upon the bodies he saw there. The violence was reflected in the fear and terror on the faces that gazed up at him in mute appeal. He dropped to his knees, tears running down his face._

" _Why? Why did this happen?" he cried to the heavens._

" _I told you that you would come to no good, Anthony."_

 _The voice behind him made him whirl._

 _He found his father standing there. He was impeccably dressed in one of his designer suits, and he looked as if he had just come from his club. In one hand he held a drink, the amber liquid in the cut crystal glass the only color that Tony had spied yet in the bleak land he now found himself._

 _Tony backed away. "What happened here? Where are my friends?"_

 _His father smiled. It was a bare curving of his lips and there was no warmth to it. It was the cold smile he reserved for Tony alone that spoke of his supreme disappointment in his only son. "Don't you know? This," he swept a well-manicured hand to take in the rubble and the carnage and the smog, "is all your fault, after all."_

" _No," Tony denied violently taking another step back and the soil under his feet crumbled. He found himself sliding down the slope, down into the chasm filled with bodies._

 _He scrambled trying to get back up, digging with his hands and his feet, but it was no use. The dirt just kept sliding away under him and he tumbled down the hill until he came to rest in the arms of the dead._

 _Breathing hard, his heart hammering in his chest, Tony inched away, desperately trying not to look. One of the bodies caught his eye though, maybe it was the color of the hair, dark and long, there was something familiar about it. He paused in his struggle to escape. He crept closer and tentatively turned the body over._

 _He gave a choked cry at what he saw._

" _Kate!"_

 _She fell with one hand thrown out, as if she were reaching to him._

 _He gathered her body to him, crying, trying to remember what had happened. How had he survived when everyone else he knew was dead?_

 _He felt the body in his arms stir and he drew back in dread. She turned her head to him and spoke._

" _You did this to us, Tony, don't you remember?"_

 _She grabbed his hand then and pulled. He tried to jerk away but she was too strong, she was pulling him into the grave. The rest of the bodies were stirring to life and they were grabbing him, pulling him down until the earth was covering him over and all he could do was scream but there was no one left alive to hear._

* * *

"No!"

Tony came awake with a suddenness that startled Gibbs. There was no in-between state. One minute he had been, if not sleeping peacefully, at least resting. The next he was sitting upright in bed, tearing wildly at the lines and tubes connecting him to the machinery surrounding him, hell bent on something, Gibbs wasn't sure what. His eyes were wide and dilated and Gibbs didn't really think he was awake yet, but still caught up in some nightmare world.

"Tony," he threw himself on the young man, trying to hold him down, trying to keep him from hurting himself more in his frenzy.

Tony might have been dehydrated and concussed and weak as a kitten when he was rescued, but his terror gave him strength and he threw Gibbs away. Gibbs hit the floor with a whoosh as the air was knocked from him.

"Boss?" he heard McGee call in astonishment from the neighboring bed.

"Call someone, McGee," Gibbs instructed tersely as he picked himself up off the floor.

Tony had managed to free himself of his bed and was making his way to the door. Gibbs grabbed his arm, being careful this time to stay out of range of the punch when it came.

"DiNozzo!" he said sharply in the voice of authority that Tony always responded to.

Tony paused in his headlong rush to the door and blinked. "Boss?"

"Where in the hell do you think you're going?"

Tony woke up all at once, taking in the hospital room and Gibbs standing there. He began to tremble all over before collapsing. Gibbs caught him before he hit the floor and wrestled him back into the bed as the hospital personnel arrived to sort out all the lines and tubes and make sure he was settled again.

Gibbs stood out of the way next to McGee scowling as he watched them work.

"Boss?" McGee asked, "What happened?"

"Hell if I know, McGee," he growled. "But I will before this is over. I will." he promised.

And someone would pay for the hell that they'd put DiNozzo through.

-NCIS-

Tony floated in the comfortable haze of the non-place he found himself in. He knew he should wake up; there were important matters to be dealt with. The urgency hovered there at the edges of his consciousness just waiting for him to notice it. At the moment though he was feeling no pain, feeling nothing as a matter of fact and he was reluctant to leave only to be forced to face the pain and the questions he knew would be waiting for him the moment he opened his eyes.

" _Comfy, DiNozzo?"_

The voice came from nowhere and everywhere. Tony couldn't really tell where it was coming from in the grey haze that surrounded him. It was a familiar voice, he knew who it belonged to, but he didn't want to think about it. He was too comfortable, the place where he found himself was a good place to rest and that was all he wanted to do, rest and not think.

" _There'll be time to rest later, DiNozzo, you really need to wake up."_

The voice demanded that he face things – Kate and her forced cheerfulness as she tried to ignore what had happened to him. Or McGee, whose way of coping would be to try and analyze what had happened. He'd probably want a blow-by-blow account of what had happened. And Gibbs... Gibbs would want to know what he'd found out about his captors, what they wanted, what Tony had told them...

But he had nothing, nothing to give them, nothing to tell them. And nothing wasn't acceptable, not for Gibbs and not for him. And he couldn't face it, so he burrowed further into the comfort of the non-place.

The voice followed him relentlessly, pursuing him, _"So, what you gonna do, DiNozzo? You just going to keep hiding here in your nice little hidey-hole?_

Tony resented the voice. If he wanted to hide for a while, well he'd earned it.

" _Come on, DiNozzo, I've never known you to hide from anything. What? You just gonna stay here forever? Are you too afraid to wake up and deal with things?"_

Tony resented the insinuation that he was a coward and couldn't... wouldn't face what he needed to face. But there was time for that later, right now he just wanted to float.

" _There are people who are worried about you, DiNozzo, people who risked their life to save you. Is this how you're going to repay them?"_

The voice was getting steadily more demanding, using that note of command that Tony always found difficult to ignore, but this time if he could cover his ears he would. He would stick his fingers in his ears and sing, 'la, la, la, la, la, la, la.'

"I can't hear you," he told the voice. "Leave me alone."

" _Is that what you really want, DiNozzo?"_ the voice sounded curious, genuinely interested in his answer. _"Do you really want to be left alone?"_

Did he want to be alone? It felt like he'd been alone all his life. Growing up, he craved the contact of other people, but he always kept them at arms length, not many people knew the real Tony DiNozzo. Only lately had he begun to let people in, to let them see his true self. But he was afraid to show them too much because if they really knew who he was they might leave him, too, and then he'd be alone again. Like now.

 _"That's where you're wrong, DiNozzo. You're not alone. We're all here with you, and we won't leave you."_

"Do you promise, boss?" he whispered into the nothingness.

 _"I promise, we're here, DiNozzo, just waiting for you to wake up."_

The voice spoke with authority and Tony's eyes opened almost of their own accord.

He was surprised to find that he was no longer in the cage. The rescue was such a jumble of blurred memories that he'd been sure he dreamed it.

He stirred a little, feeling the cool, clean sheets and the weight of a blanket providing warmth. It felt good after so much time shivering, pressed against the bars of his cage.

He was in the hospital if he could judge by the soft beeps and hums and the too-clean smell of things. He felt strangely disconnected from his body, and recalling his condition the last time he remembered being in the cage, that was probably for the best. The lights around him were dim, but he could hear a soft snore from somewhere in the room with him.

Turning his head, he could just make out a body sleeping in the bed next to him. It was dark in the room so he couldn't really see who it was, but he thought he recognized the snore from all night stakeouts when Tim napped in the car next to him.

Alarm seized him then. Had more of the team been taken? He'd always just assumed he was the only one, because he hadn't seen anyone else. But that was a bad assumption. Gibbs rule number 3 – never assume, always check out the facts for yourself. They could have all been in cells next to his, enduring the same things he'd experienced... God, no...

He began to pull on the lines that connected his body to the machines. He had to get up. The voice was right. He couldn't just lie around in bed and escape from things. He had to deal with keeping his friends safe.

Hands caught his, holding him down, preventing him from doing what he needed to do.

"Tony, stop, you're going to hurt yourself," someone said.

The voice was familiar; he recognized it from that other place.

"Gibbs?" he whispered trying to focus on the person standing over him.

Gibbs was there, standing over him, with a firm hold on him. Then, for a second he saw a ghostly image, a second Gibbs staring down at him, smiling sadly. He blinked and the second Gibbs was gone and he was alone again with just the real Gibbs for company.

A pissed real Gibbs by the looks of it.

"You with me, DiNozzo?" he asked tersely.

Tony gathered himself and gave a small nod. Slowly Gibbs released him, body tensed to jump into action again if it turned out Tony was still asleep or tried to hurt himself again.

He asked the question uppermost in his mind, "McGee?"

Gibbs huffed out a breath, "He's alright. We just had a small... mishap getting to you."

Tony swallowed, his throat dry and dusty. Gibbs must have seen the motion. He picked up a cup with a straw and held it to Tony's lips.

"What happened?" Tony asked, sipping the water.

It was the best thing he'd ever tasted in his life. He'd never thought that water would be the thing he craved most in the world. Long before he was done, Gibbs pulled the cup away and set it aside.

Gibbs took a step back, his gaze narrowed. Tony could feel it assessing him, "I was actually hoping you were going to tell me, DiNozzo."

Gibbs didn't know? That took him by surprise, Gibbs was supposed to know everything. Tony swallowed again, a little easier this time. His gaze wandered to McGee. At least he was sleeping peacefully. That was something.

"There's not much, boss," he confessed, sleepily.

He could feel the drugs pulling him down again, but he forced himself to stay awake. He needed to talk now, to tell Gibbs what he knew.

"The cage, they put me in a cage... and they strapped me in a chair sometimes... I didn't know what they wanted..." he tried to shove himself up and found he lacked the strength for it. Frustrated he struck out at the mattress with a fist.

"Tony," Gibbs laid a soothing hand on his shoulder. "Calm down. I wasn't asking you to report. You need to rest."

The sense of urgency was building inside Tony. There wasn't time to rest, but his body was agreeing with Gibbs. He could feel his eyes closing against his will.

"Need to find... answers," he insisted.

"We will," he heard Gibbs answer as he slid unwillingly back into sleep. "We will."

-NCIS-

The next time Tony woke up, the sun was streaming in the windows, making the room bright.

Kate sat in a chair at his side, leafing through a magazine. He could see she wasn't really reading, but she wasn't in the hospital room either. Her forehead was crinkled in serious thought and her mouth pursed as if she'd just eaten something seriously sour, she seemed to be a million miles away.

Tony tried to speak and it just came out as a squeak. Kate heard him anyway. She jumped up, dumping the magazine onto the ground. Picking up the cup from the table next to his bed, she held it so he could drink.

"Tony? Is something wrong? Do I need to call the doctor?" she asked anxiously.

She was so earnest. He needed to say something to break the tension, make her smile. "Cosmo, Kate?" he whispered.

"What?" she stared at him, trying to decide if he was delirious, "I'll call the doctor..."

He caught her hand as she reached for the call button. "The magazine. _In His Pants_?" He pointed at where he imagined the magazine must be on the floor. "What would your mother say?"

She blushed a little.

"It was all they had at the nurse's station," she informed him primly. "I can see that you're feeling better."

She picked up the magazine and sat, trying to look like she was ignoring him, but Tony could see that she was a little more relaxed now. She peaked over the magazine and smiled back at him.

"Are you okay? Do I need to call the doctor?" she asked again, this time with an ironic lift of her eyebrow.

It felt good. It felt normal.

He could feel the pull of his body, but it was still distant enough that he could ignore it, at least for a while. He wanted to be clear-headed and start to process what had happened. To everyone. Obviously he wasn't the only one affected by his imprisonment.

"I'm good."

His gaze shifted to the other bed where he thought he remembered McGee had been the night before. The bed was empty now, but the sheets were askew like someone had been in it recently.

"Probie?"

Kate looked back down at the magazine and Tony could see her trying to decide what to tell him. He pushed himself up with an elbow and began to pull on the IV in his arm.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Kate demanded as she pulled his hand away. He was so weak; it was ridiculously easy for her.

"I'm going to find someone who can give me answers," he told her evenly. He didn't like not being in the loop, even if it was because he was laying flat on his back in the hospital.

"Give yourself a break, Tony," she said, "you've had a rough time."

He met her gaze and told her, "I don't think we have time, Kate. I... there's something... I just can't remember what."

He let himself fall back into the pillows in frustration. He was so weak and his head was beginning to hurt and there were funny little black dots in his vision. "Would you mind pulling the curtains? It's bright in here."

She got up and did as he requested, speaking the entire time, "God, Tony, you are so impossible. I can't believe you. You almost died, you know that?"

"I was there," he reminded her wryly. "And McGee?" he asked stubbornly.

She sat back in the chair. He thought she was going to refuse again, but then she finally gave in with a huff. "There was a booby trap. The... enclosure where we found you..."

"It was a cage, Kate," Tony told her. He didn't want to pull any punches or sugarcoat what had been done to him. He needed the anger to keep him awake and aware.

She flinched and continued. "The... cage was electrocuted. It was electrocuting you and we couldn't get it turned off."

He could read her distress in the way she shifted in her chair; in the way her eyes wouldn't meet his. He thought he remembered Gibbs' face as he was in the cage, but he hadn't known if it was the real or the imaginary one.

Time shifted and blended for him, forward and back. He was in the cage with the bars pressing in, and then he was back in the hospital lying between clean, cool sheets with Kate watching him, her eyes shadowed and worried.

"She thinks it's all over," his father's voice surprised him. He appeared behind Kate, tumbler in hand. He took a drink and regarded Kate, his head cocked thoughtfully.

"What?" Tony asked.

Kate thought he was talking to her. "The cage," she explained patiently. "McGee found a wire and when he cut it, well... He was electrocuted and his heart stopped. He was dead, Tony."

"She thinks she's safe," his father said watching Kate with narrowed eyes.

Tony wanted to know about McGee, the fact that 'heart stopped' and 'McGee' were used in the same sentence was bad, but the fact that his imaginary father was still walking and talking in his subconscious was bad, too. Tony didn't know who to concentrate on and his headache was getting worse, it throbbed in time with his heartbeat.

"Safe?" Tony said trying not to appear as distracted as he felt.

"He's fine, Tony, Tim is fine. The paramedics got his heart started again. " Kate assured him, patting the blanket next to his arm.

Tony wished she'd punch him or yell at him, anything but the solicitous care that was so unlike her.

"Such a lovely woman," his father said as he circled around Kate.

It reminded Tony of the specials on the Animal Planet where the predator was stalking its unsuspecting prey.

"Too bad she's too good for you," he pronounced at last.

"Fine?" Tony grabbed the word, trying to reassure Kate that he was fine. He didn't think he was doing such a good job. She kept following the line of his gaze trying to figure out what had him so interested behind her. There was nothing for her to see.

"The doctors said there wasn't any permanent damage. They kept him overnight just to keep an eye on him. He and Abby went for some breakfast. Gibbs went to find coffee. They should all be back any time now. We were waiting to debrief until you woke up to see if you could tell us anything." She was babbling.

Tony knew he was scaring her, because he couldn't decide who to focus on, her or his father. And his father knew the trouble he was causing. He just stood there, smirking, drinking his drink that never seemed to be any emptier.

Tony's headache was getting worse; the pain was almost more than he could stand.

"It's a pity they'll never be safe again with you around," his father pronounced before disappearing from sight.

"Tony," Kate asked anxiously, reaching for the call button that would summon help.

He pushed her away, "Go away, Kate," he told her roughly, "Before you die, too."

He could feel the ants marching across his body again. The hospital melted away and he was back strapped in the chair.

-NCIS-

Kate didn't know which scared her more – the fact that Tony was staring at something not there or the fact the machinery around him was beginning to beep faster. The one with his heartbeat was doing double time. Wasn't there someone on duty that was supposed to be watching those things?

And Tony was in pain, she could see that. He was playing the macho agent and wouldn't ask for anything. Well, she wasn't standing around watching him suffer. She reached for the call button and he gave her hand a painfully weak push.

"Go away, Kate, before you die, too," he told her.

She stood frozen, not knowing what to say. Then his eyes rolled back in his head and his body arched from the bed.

She ran for the door screaming, "Help, I need help in here."

The machine with Tony's heartbeat flat-lined then and all she heard was the steady, monotonous tone declaring him dead.


	5. TheEscape

Tony was in the chair with the straps holding him down and the IVs dripping into his hand. He shivered as the cold of the chair pressed into his flesh. The thin t-shirt he'd been left in did nothing to trap his body heat and the more dehydrated he became the less ability he had to fight the cold.

Despite knowing it was probably useless, Tony struggled against the straps. Just because the creeps that had him might have the upper hand for the moment, didn't mean he was going to just roll over and let them do whatever they wanted.

DiNozzo's first rule, when he had a team of his own – never give up without a fight.

He squinted into the bright light shining into his face. He could just make out shapes moving in the dimness beyond it. They were the people who were his captors, they were there in the shadows. He squinted trying to make out details.

"I won't tell you anything." he shouted at them defiantly. "Do whatever you want to me, but you won't get anything from me!"

"That is where you are wrong, Special Agent DiNozzo, we will get exactly what we need from you," a voice answered from the shadows. The voice was cool and calm, heavily laced with a Middle Eastern accent.

Tony felt a thrill of triumph. Not only did he now have a clue as to the identity of his captors, he'd gotten them to acknowledge him. It was a tiny crack in their policy of non-communication. It might not be the whole enchilada, but it was something. He'd come up with whole plans from less.

He tugged at the restraints on his wrists. They were starting to hurt from the abuse, angry and red from the constant pressure.

The stuff that was dripping into his veins was making him tingle, like the pins and needles you got when a limb fell asleep. Only this was all over his body. And the shivering had stopped. The room was getting warmer? Tony highly doubted that the bad guys would warm the room for his comfort; he suspected it was something else to do with the IV.

"You know you've taken the wrong guy," Tony called, trying to think of anything to keep them talking, anything to keep them from doing whatever it was they were going to do.

He just had to give Gibbs time. Gibbs counted on him to take care of himself and still be in one piece when he arrived. Of course Tony had no intention of waiting around for Gibbs to show up and rescue him. He wasn't someone who waited around to be rescued.

"I don't know anything. Ask anyone, they'll tell you, 'DiNozzo knows absolutely nothing useful.' Now if you want to know which episode it was that Magnum finds out that his wife Michelle was really alive, now that I can tell you. See he thought she'd died in Vietnam, only it turns out that she survived..." being annoying was a skill that Tony cultivated. People weren't as guarded with someone they considered a fool. He was willing to use that in this case if it helped in any way.

But the bad guys just weren't getting with the plan.

"Shut up, Agent DiNozzo," the voice snapped.

"That would be Special Agent DiNozzo to you. I don't think we know each other well enough to skip the formalities."

The flush was spreading through his body, warming to his toes. That was kind of nice. He'd been tired of the whole shivering thing. The harsh glow of the light on him was changing, too. It was softer and he almost imagined he could hear the light speak to him.

Funny, he never knew that light would have Gibbs voice.

" _Hang on, DiNozzo,"_ the light said sternly.

No problem there. Anthony DiNozzo was an expert on hanging on.

"So, I'm sorry, but you're just going to be disappointed in me. Just ask my father, he'll tell you what a disappointment I am." His speech was beginning to slur. He hoped the bad guys could understand him.

"Trust me, Agent DiNozzo," the voice answered. "You will not disappoint us. You were very carefully chosen for this task. I believe he is ready."

Ready? Tony tried to brace himself for whatever was coming next. He'd studied interrogation techniques. He had seen first hand the ugly things that people could do to each other. He had a whole list of things to be ready for. His heart was beating faster and he tried the restraints again, just in case.

Tony was anything but ready for the fear that slammed into him. Total, completely overwhelming fear. Fear that his team was in trouble, that they needed him. He was the only one that could save them. He had to get out of the chair. He had to help them.

A figure walked out of the darkness and stood watching him.

"Are you ready to begin, Agent DiNozzo?" the man asked.

* * *

The hospital cafeteria was filled with people starting their day, hospital staff and patients and their visitors alike. The place was noisy with the din of plates clinking and forks scraping, everyone caught up in their own dramas. None of them knew or cared about the NCIS agent in the bed upstairs struggling to survive, it wasn't necessary. It was Gibbs' job and he was going to make sure Tony recovered, if he had to threaten him to make it happen.

Gibbs sat at a corner table with Abby and McGee. He drank his coffee as they talked. He couldn't help it; he automatically found the egress points, his eye assessing everyone in the room for their level of threat. For the most part it was just ordinary people getting their day started, although he was concerned with some of the orderlies that drifted through. There was just something... off about them.

Under cover of sipping his coffee, he also assessed McGee's condition. The young agent's color was returning, his eyes bright and sparkling as he talked with Abby. The doctor had assured Gibbs he would be fine, but it was good to see it for himself.

"And so you just cut the wire?" Abby asked wide-eyed, her awe obvious. Leaning into him, she had one hand on McGee's arm, assuring herself tactilely that he was really alive and well and sitting in front of her.

McGee blushed shyly at being the object of her rapt attention, but he continued, "I did. The last thing I remember was flying through the air."

"Was it cool?" she asked eagerly. "What did it feel like?"

Abby's scientific curiosity was insatiable, but it worried Gibbs sometimes the things she was interested in. He decided it was time to come to McGee's rescue.

"Abby, I want you to go back to your lab," he set his cup down. "There was a team working all night at the warehouse and I've requested that all the evidence be sent to you."

"But Gibbs," she protested, her voice rising in that way it did when she was really passionate about something. "Everybody else is here, and I haven't even seen Tony yet."

He was firm, "Abby, I want our best people working on this. Trust me, Tony is going to be here for a few days. You can visit him in your candy striper thing later."

McGee's mouth dropped open.

"The rest of us will be in the office soon," he told her soothingly. He knew how much she wanted to see Tony, see for herself that he was alive and well, but they had work to do. "I want the people responsible for this." He reached across the table and gently closed McGee's mouth.

Overhead, the announcement of a code-blue caught their attention. He recognized the room number immediately as Tony's. He was on his feet and through the door before Abby and McGee could even react.

He took the stairs two at a time and met the medical team coming from the other direction. Kate had been pushed out of the room. She stood at the door devastated, staring at Tony's body blankly. He could hear the flat tone on the monitor that declared to all that Tony's heart had stopped.

"We were just talking, Gibbs," she looked up at him, pleading with him to make it alright.

He wished he could. He wished it were as easy as going in that room and hitting Tony on the head and making the world right again. But if Tony was dead, then nothing would ever be right again.

He took her arm and drew her into the hall, out of the way, so that the team could do their work.

They set up efficiently around Tony's body. From where he was standing, it was lifeless and still. There was no more Tony in the body and Gibbs felt that kick in his gut that told him someone close to him was dead.

He was distantly aware when McGee and Abby joined them, both breathless from the run from the cafeteria.

"Tony?" McGee asked.

Gibbs just shrugged.

They stood, helpless, unable to do anything but watch as the team inside fought to bring Tony back.

The seconds stretched into minutes with the line remaining obstinately flat. No one spoke, they barely breathed as the doctor used the paddles to try and shock Tony. His body arched on the bed, once, twice, three times.

And still the damnable line stayed flat, the tone steady and even. Kate and Gibbs stood apart, not touching, separate in their grief. McGee had his arms around Abby and she moaned every time the doctor activated the paddles and still Tony didn't respond.

To their credit, the team in Tony's room never quit. They didn't like loosing patients. It was their job, but on the personal side they never gave up on a patient until they had to. They refused to give any more to death than they had to

But time wasn't on their side, they had a definite window during which they could successfully bring their patient back and that window was quickly shutting.

A nurse worked steadily squeezing the bag that would keep the oxygen going in and out of the man's lungs. Another did CPR between the attempts with the paddles, making the blood flow.

Gibbs watched them work, knowing that as each second went by Tony's chances were getting worse and worse.

"Come on, DiNozzo," he muttered under his breath. "Don't let the bastards win."

Once more the doctor applied the paddles to Tony's chest. "Clear."

Tony's body jumped on the bed. There was a pause, the space of a heartbeat and the monitor jumped.

Everyone waited holding their breath and the monitor jumped again and beeped. Then it steadied into a rhythm.

"Good work, people," the doctor said as grins broke out.

Tony stirred in the bed, turning his head restlessly. His eyes opened. Gibbs saw him take in the room with a puzzled frown. Then his gaze found Gibbs. For a heartbeat, their eyes were locked, and Gibbs saw the fear there, the terror. Then his eyes slid shut and Tony was unconscious once again.

The team stayed at the door, quietly watching as the medical personnel got Tony settled once again. They had come so close to loosing him, it was hard to know they were going to have to leave soon. They had work that wouldn't wait while they were sitting at Tony's side. They had to catch the people who had hurt him, before they could do anything worse. So they took the quiet moment to just watch him breath, listen to the steady rhythm of the heart monitor.

The medical team did their work quickly. It was obvious that they cared for their patient, taking great care to make sure that all the lines and leads were still attached properly and that Tony was comfortable in the bed. Tucking the covers in around him, the nurses left as soon as everything was done, leaving the doctor for a final check of his patient.

"Doc," Gibbs stepped forward once it was obvious that the doctor was finished. "What can you tell us about Tony's condition?"

The doctor put Tony's chart back in place. He turned and looked over the individuals waiting anxiously.

"Are you Mr. DiNozzo's family?" he asked with an upraised brow.

They were a motley group Gibbs knew. Kate stood at the foot of Tony's bed. She was rumpled from sitting up all night with Tony and McGee. Abby and McGee stood behind her. Abby was dressed in her usual Goth attire complete with a studded dog collar. McGee… well he looked like McGee, even if he was dressed in a hospital gown with a fuzzy blue bathrobe thrown over it that Abby had brought him from home.

"Yes, we're his family," he told the doctor firmly challenging him to say otherwise.

Gibbs could see the skepticism in the doctor's eyes, but he nodded and jerked his head toward the door.

"Let's talk outside, my patient needs his rest."

They followed the doctor obediently out of the room. He led them down the hall to a small, private waiting room. He held the door open and they filed in and sat, waiting expectantly.

The doctor faced them, "I'm not going to pull any punches here, Tony's condition is very serious. His case is pretty complicated. We knew he was suffering from a concussion and a severe case of dehydration when you brought him in. Those are life threatening all on their own, and we've been aggressively treating those since his arrival."

"There's more?" Gibbs asked tersely, his eyes narrowed as he took in and processed the information the doctor was giving them.

"There is," the doctor nodded slowly. He shifted, his gaze moving from person to person, trying to impress upon them how serious his news was, "we've got his blood tests back and it seems that Tony was injected with some pretty powerful hallucinogenic drugs."

"LSD?" Kate asked in disbelief. She shifted forward on the small waiting room sofa, her eyes never leaving the doctor.

He nodded again, this time more hesitantly, "Similar, but this is some new designer stuff that makes LSD look like candy."

"To what purpose?" Gibbs asked. He had some ideas, but he needed to hear the doctor's thoughts.

"I don't know," he paused, running a hand through his hair. "I can tell you that they would cause very vivid audio and visual hallucinations that would seem very real to Tony. People under the influence of these types of drugs have spoke of being able to see sounds. He'd also be very open to suggestion." The doctor paused again and shrugged, "They might have been trying to get information from him. He wouldn't have been able to resist long with this stuff in his system."

"Tony wouldn't tell terrorists anything," Abby declared loyally.

"Abby, anyone can be broken," Gibbs told her heavily. "But Tony doesn't know anything useful. We've already changed any protocols or codes he might have given them."

"So, why would terrorists take him, boss?" McGee asked.

Glancing over at him, it occurred to Gibbs that he looked ridiculous in his fuzzy blue robe and faded brown slippers.

"To program him, McGee. Shit!" Gibbs exploded upward no longer able to sit.

"Program him?" the doctor asked bewildered.

"Brainwashing, mind control," Kate told him. "The ability to be able to control someone's thinking or behavior."

He looked from Kate to Gibbs and back again, trying to decide if they were serious. "But why?"

"There are any number of applications," Kate sounded almost as if she were discussing the weather instead of something that might possibly be applied to one of their team, "assassination and terrorism are just a couple of choices."

"Surely that's not possible," the doctor protested. "Isn't that just something you see at the movies?" he asked. Disbelief was heavy in his voice, or at least the need for it not to be true.

"Oh, no, Doc," Gibbs answered. "Our country's been experimenting with mind control techniques since the 50's. Just think what you could do if you had people in key positions primed with instructions to take out anyone from the postman to world leaders and those people didn't even know it."

The doctor's face drained of color and sat abruptly. "You're kidding right?"

"Wish I was," Gibbs said grimly. "All the handler would need to do to activate the individual agent would be to have the correct code. That agent will then do whatever they've been 'programmed' to do and may not even be actively aware of it."

"What would they have programmed Tony to do?" Kate asked. He could see that she was thinking, too, figuring what damage Tony could do, who he could get to.

"Something bad," Gibbs answered shortly.

It was time to stop standing around doing nothing, letting the terrorists get further and further ahead of them. It was time to get moving.

"But now that we know about it, we can stop it, right?" Abby asked anxiously.

"You're damn right we're going to stop it." Gibbs' thoughts were whirling with all the implications. Something must have gone wrong with the terrorist's plan because NCIS had Tony now and they were going to stop him from doing whatever he was programmed to do.

"Kate, you get back to the office and call Fornell. Find out what kind of Intel he has on the terrorists, what they might have been targeting. Abby, I want you back in your lab and start working on that debris from the warehouse. McGee…"

McGee perked up eagerly, ready to help.

"Yes, boss?"

"I want you to stay here and keep an eye on Tony. If he wakes up, see if you can get anything from him."

"Interrogate, Tony, boss?" McGee looked slightly freaked at the idea.

"No, don't interrogate him, McGee, you won't get anything from him that way."

"If he's really been programmed, he won't even be aware of it until he gets some sort of signal," Kate explained.

McGee's nervous gaze moved from Gibbs to Kate and back again.

"I… uhm… can't set him off by accident, can I?" Tim asked, swallowing nervously.

"It's not going to be anything you'd say in normal conversation, McGee," Gibbs hit him in the back of the head, lightly just in case he was still suffering any ill effects from his electrocution. "They wouldn't want him to be set off too soon. It would ruin their plan. Just talk to him, see if he says anything out of the ordinary or strange."

"This is Tony we're talking about, right?"

"McGee!" Abby punched him this time, hard.

"Hey," he complained, "I'm going to have to stay in the hospital because of the injuries I've sustained here." He rubbed his arm, scooting away from Abby on the couch.

"Come on, people," Gibbs growled impatiently, "We've got work to do."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, their mood was lighter as they walked down the hall back to Tony's room. They had Tony back; they were going to able to stop whatever the terrorist had planned. They just had to keep Tony safe until they figured out what it was he was supposed to do.

That good feeling lasted the entire length of their walk up the hall from the waiting room back to Tony's room. When they entered the room they found it empty. The bed was empty with crumpled sheets and the IV lines lying neatly on top of the covers, the machinery was turned off.

Gibbs stopped in horrified astonishment, "Where in the hell did DiNozzo go? I can't take my eyes off him for five minutes."

"Maybe they took him for more tests, boss?" McGee suggested hesitantly.

It was possible, Gibbs knew. But he didn't think so.

"Somebody get that doctor and get him back now. And just in case, spread out and look for DiNozzo. He's not going to get far in the hospital gown with his ass hanging out." They all scattered as Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

* * *

Tony drove carefully through the mid-morning DC rush-hour traffic: he kept both hands on the steering wheel, he observed all traffic signals, kept to the speed limit, and used his turn signals for all turns. It just wouldn't do to be pulled over at this point.

He didn't think he'd be successful in convincing the local Leos that he was on official NCIS business dressed in stolen hospital scrubs and sporting a bandage that covered most of his head. Eyeing his reflection in the rear view mirror, he thought he actually looked like a refuge from a war zone.

What he could see of his face was an interesting shade of purple from where it had impacted with his coffee table 3 days ago. Where it wasn't covered in bandage or a mottled purple, his face was an entirely too-pale a shade of white and stretched too tightly over the bones, he'd seen bodies on Ducky's table that were in better shape.

He had urgent business, and it wouldn't fit in his plans to be hauled back to the hospital just yet. He was thankful to know that his team was back there, that they were safe. He didn't have to close his eyes to see the scenes of complete and utter devastation that kept playing in the cinema of his mind. Scenes of such depravity that it made him queasy.

Sitting at the stoplight, waiting for the light to change, he closed his eyes and forced down the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. It wouldn't do to be sick. He didn't have time for one. And he knew how the maintenance guys were about the NCIS vehicles. They would give him no amount of hell for throwing up in the car.

Closing his eyes was a mistake, he'd been keeping the images under control, but now they swept over him, overwhelming in their intensity – Kate, bleeding, with her hand reaching out to him for help. McGee lying over his desk; dead eyes staring at the ceiling, the pool of blood on the floor growing ever larger. Abby and Gibbs and Ducky, the sheer savagery of what was done to them left him breathless and shaking.

Someone behind him honked when the light changed, jerking him back to awareness. He was surprised to see the bright morning sunshine. He'd expected a blackened landscape and a sickly sun shining over it all. He eased out into the traffic, keeping an eye out for cops or anything else that might impede his progress.

* * *

It didn't take long to determine that Tony was no longer in the hospital. Within minutes the team met back in Tony's room.

"Tony wasn't scheduled for any tests this morning," the doctor told them with a frown.

"How in the hell did he even get out of bed?" Kate asked anxiously, a hint of reprimand in her voice.

The doctor replied defensively, "The drugs that Tony was given are very powerful. People have done some pretty amazing things while under their influence."

"Wasn't he sedated?" Gibbs interrupted with a scowl.

He felt responsible; he should have seen this coming. But the terrorists were smart, they'd used their own worry about Tony to keep them off their game,- they were still using that worry to keep the team from seeing what was under their noses.

Tony was dangerous right now and had to be treated as such, as hard as it was to think that way. He was a very real danger to himself and the people around him. Gibbs first priority was to get Tony secured, and then he'd worry about the rest.

The doctor held up a hand, "We could only give him a mild sedative because of his head wound. It would have had no affect against the hallucinogen drugs of the type that was in his system. He's going to be able to function for a while yet; I really can't give you an idea if it's hours or more. When he crashes, he's going to crash hard. But for now, he probably thinks he's invincible."

"Where's he going to go?" McGee asked. He was trying to think logically, even if logic didn't always work in Tony's case.

"Yeah," Abby chimed in. "He's dressed in one of the backless hospital gowns, that's sure to attract a certain amount of attention."

Gibbs was inclined to agree. But Tony was smart; he would find a way.

"Kate, you and I are going back to NCIS."

She nodded and began to stuff her gear back into her pack.

Gibbs continued with his instructions to the rest of his team, "We can coordinate the search for him there. McGee, you and Abby check the hospital security tapes. He had to get out of here somehow. If he's on foot I want to know, if he's somehow managed to get transportation, I need to know that."

"Gibbs," Kate's tone caught his attention immediately. All eyes focused on her as she frantically searched through her pack.

"Kate?"

"I... uh... the keys are gone."

"Keys, Agent Todd?"

"The keys to the car, Gibbs, they were on the top of my gear, they're not here now."

Gibbs scrubbed a frustrated hand through his hair. "Alright, this may actually work in our favor. Abby, we need your car..."

"Gibbs!" Abby shouted, she was nearly dancing in her excitement.

"Abby, we don't have time. What is it?"

"Gibbs, Kate's car, its NCIS', isn't it?"

He nodded, not wanting to interrupt her when she was on a roll.

"Well, they have a tracking chip in them. We can find out exactly where Tony is going."

He picked her up and squeezed her tight, "You've earned your Caf-Pow for the next week."

"Oh, but there's more, bossman," the grin she sported stretched from ear to ear. She didn't wait from him to ask, she needed to have Tony safe and sound back in his hospital bed, "I have my lap top in the car, we can uplink to a satellite and we can track him as you drive."

"That's my girl." Gibbs knew he had the best people working for him. It was times like these when they proved it to him. "Alright, you come with me and Kate. McGee, see if you can find anything helpful on those hospital tapes. And McGee," Gibbs called out as McGee turned away to carry out his instructions.

Tim looked back at Gibbs expectantly.

"Put some clothes on, you can't go running around the hospital looking like that."

McGee glanced down at his terry-cloth robe frowning uncertainly, then detoured to the bathroom to do as instructed.

* * *

"Do you really think you can save them?"

He shouldn't have been surprised when his father appeared in the passenger seat. They'd spent more time together in the last three days than they had in the last three years. Still Tony jerked the wheel hard enough at the unexpected words that the car veered into the other lane.

If it were a normal day it wouldn't have been a problem, Tony would have corrected and everything would have been fine, but it wasn't a normal day. A normal day didn't involve having your father's hallucination hounding you everywhere. A normal day didn't involve escaping from the hospital while still suffering from a concussion so his reflexes were off and he couldn't correct fast enough.

Time was suspended as he caught sight of the other car in the passenger side rear-view mirror. He could see the woman in the other car, her eyes wide, knowing she wasn't going to be able to avoid Tony's car. He imagined she would slam on her brakes, but it would do no good. They were just too close.

The car impacted Tony's vehicle, shoving into the passenger door, spinning him sideways. The air bag inflated into his face cushioning his impact with the steering wheel. Tony's world rotated. Through the side window he could see the woman staring into Tony's eyes as their cars skidded together, careening forward.

Around them other cars swerved, amidst much honking and squealing of tires, to avoid being caught in their accident. Then, with a sickening thud and a shower of glass, both cars shuddered to a halt.

For a second there was only silence and Tony sat, astonished that he was still alive. Then the second passed and he became aware of the honk of a car somewhere close that was stuck, maybe it was the other woman's car. There were shouts as people pulled to a stop and ran to offer assistance. There was a strange hiss from his own car, a plop as something liquid hit the pavement. The acrid smell of smoke and gasoline began to fill the air.

"Well, now isn't this a mess?" his father asked. He sat back in the passenger seat, untouched by the glass and the twisted metal, sipping at his drink. He might have been sitting on the veranda of their home for all the concern he had for his son's accident.

Tony wasn't surprised; his father had never shown any concern before about his life, his death should be no different.

"Oh, don't be melodramatic," his father snapped sharply in response to his unspoken thoughts. "You always did go overboard trying to get your mother and I to notice you."

"But you never did," Tony said tightly, his voice low and dangerous. He ignored those who were trying to help him out of the car. "You couldn't be bothered by me, could you?"

"Well if you'd ever showed an inkling of interest in anything worthwhile, Anthony, I might have been interested."

"I'm so sorry I wanted to live my own life." Tony didn't notice the people backing away from the car as they saw its occupant shouting at no one. "I'm so sorry I was such a disappointment."

"Yes, yes, you were. And now you're going to be a disappointment to Gibbs, too. How convenient this accident," his father waved a hand to indicate the cars and the debris and the people swarming over them. "Now you'll be relieved of the responsibility of saving your friends."

"My friends are fine," Tony said tightly, reminded of his mission to prevent terrorists from blowing up the NCIS headquarters, killing everyone inside. "My friends are back at the hospital."

"Are they?" his father turned to face him, his eyes narrowed in challenge. "Are you so stupid that you'd think they would stay there like good little boys and girls? Surely if they were such good friends they'll come looking for you?"

It was the truth. Gibbs wouldn't just stay at the hospital. He'd figure out that Tony had left the hospital and come after him.

Tony had to get to NCIS and stop the explosion before the rest of his team got there. It was bad enough to think of everyone else he knew there dying, but he couldn't bare the thought of losing his team, too.

Rescue workers had arrived and someone pulled open the door of his vehicle. The paramedic crouched down, trying to examine him.

"Are you injured, sir?" the man asked in concern taking in his bruised and bandaged face, the scrubs, the too-white skin.

"I'm fine," Tony staggered out of the car, pushing past him. He surveyed the wreckage. There was no way he was going any further in Kate's car, but there were lots of cars standing at the edges of the accident. They sat unattended as their occupants tried to help with the accident.

"Sir," the paramedic caught his arm more forcefully.

"Let me go," Tony didn't want to hurt the man but he needed to keep moving, he had to get to the NCIS and stop the disaster that was about to happen there.

He was the only one that could.


	6. Operation Turnkey

Sitting in the back seat of Abby's white Hearst, Kate held on for her life as Gibbs drove. His driving under normal circumstances could never be deemed safe, and this was anything but normal. He wove in and out of traffic, cutting people off without regard to accepted rules of traffic safety. He left behind a lot of irritated drivers who shouted words she was certain she was glad she couldn't hear.

Gibbs' driving didn't seem to bother Abby. Her fingers sped over the keyboard of her computer, pulling up screens that flashed by too fast for Kate to even see from her vantage point sitting behind the Goth girl. Finally she found what she needed and nodded in satisfaction.

"Got him, Gibbs," she cried in triumph, giving a little bounce in her seat.

Gibbs barely glanced at the read-out, choosing to keep his eye on the road. Kate was grateful for that, at least.

"Where is he?" Gibbs asked.

Kate leaned in so she could see better and was thrown back in the seat when Gibbs changed lanes abruptly to pass a slower car, then he veered back into the original lane once they had passed it by.

"God, Gibbs," she breathed under her breath.

Not low enough obviously.

"Do you have a problem, Agent Todd?" he barked.

"No," she answered immediately. She just didn't know how they were going to be any help to Tony if they died on the way to rescue him.

"Tony?" she asked trying to get them back on track.

"He's right ahead," Abby answered, chewing on a nail thoughtfully. "He's stopped actually."

Tail lights flashed red as the traffic ahead of them came to a halt. Gibbs pounded the wheel in his frustration. Behind them an emergency vehicle was making its way through the line of traffic, strobe lights flashing, siren blaring. The cars parted in an unwieldy line in its wake, allowing it to pass.

"An accident?" Kate asked.

"You think?" Gibbs retorted harshly.

Kate didn't take it personally. They were all frustrated by this turn of events. To have Tony safe and then to lose him again was making her crazy. Thinking of the multitude of things that he could have been programmed to do was making her dizzy and very, very frightened.

"You think Tony's being held up by the accident, too?" Abby offered, her eyes never leaving the spot on the screen that was Tony's car. They were so close now.

"It's possible," Gibbs conceded, eyeing the traffic around them. "Or it could be that he **is** the accident, but it's not going to stop him." He leaned over, tracing routes with a finger, considering his options.

Kate was unprepared when he put the huge vehicle into gear and screeched into a U-turn.

"Where are we going now?" she asked as she braced herself as best she could.

"To stop Tony," was Gibbs only reply.

If Gibbs had a definite destination in mind he wasn't sharing, but Kate thought she knew where they were going. She recognized the route they were taking, she drove it every morning on her way to their office.

From her place in the back seat, Kate could see Gibbs determined profile. He pressed the car as fast as it would go, taking corners it wasn't designed to take, cutting in out of the traffic, bypassing slower moving cars. Which were most of the cars on the road. He drove as if Tony's life depended on it, and it probably did.

When Gibbs' cell phone rang, Kate was pretty certain they were going to die. When he handed it back to her, she let out a relieved breath before she accepted it. She glanced at the caller ID before she flipped it open to answer it, it was McGee.

"It's Kate, Tim," she identified herself.

"Kate," his voice was so excited he nearly squeaked, "I found something on the hospital security tapes."

"Put him on the speaker phone," Gibbs instructed, never taking his eye from the road.

"I'm putting you on the speakerphone," she told him before she punched the button. She held the phone out so they could all hear.

"Tell Gibbs what you just said," she said.

"Boss?"

"Here, McGee, what do you have?'

"The hospital had a camera on the hall outside Tony's room," he told them, "you can't see inside, but I found some pretty interesting things anyway."

Like Abby, McGee had a tendency to wander; it was how he processed information. It didn't make it any easier that Kate understood that when all she wanted was to hear the information. Gibbs' tolerance for Geek-Speak was even lower than hers.

"Are you going to tell us, McGee, or are you going to make us guess?"

"Guess? Uhm, no, of course not," McGee sounded genuinely puzzled.

"McGee!" Gibbs' sharp tone was the equivalent of a verbal head slap and he responded appropriately.

"There were orderlies in Tony's room after we left with the doctor, Gibbs," McGee said in a rush.

"Yeah, orderlies, McGee, every hospital has them," he answered.

"No, boss they went in right after we left, they were kind of sneaky…"

"Define sneaky, McGee."

"They were looking both directions, like they were making sure there was no one around. Now get this, Boss. Tony left before they did. He didn't look good, Tony, that is. But he was walking."

"Yeah, we kind of got that, McGee. And...?"

"Oh, yes. The orderlies followed him down the hall, like they were tailing him. I picked up some footage from the cameras in the parking lot, too. He took Kate's car and they followed him in another car. I'm sending the footage to Abby's computer."

"That's good work, McGee," Gibbs said warmly.

Kate could practically feel McGee's smug expression through the phone line.

"Boss, I thought I could get a cab and meet you guys wherever you're going," Tim started in a rush.

"No, McGee, you stay at the hospital."

"But, Boss…" McGee protested.

Kate knew how he felt. He wanted to be with the rest of team in the search for Tony, doing something besides sitting around uselessly.

"McGee," Gibbs cut him off, "you're not at a hundred percent right now." There was no arguing with that tone. "Now listen, we were right behind Tony and there was an accident, Abby will send you the details. If Tony wasn't involved it might have slowed him and his tail down. Contact the local Leos and tell them to be on the lookout."

McGee didn't argue, he just answered, "On it, boss."

"And McGee if Tony shows up back there at the hospital, you sit on him if have to, but keep him there."

"Alright, Boss," McGee responded, resigned to staying at the hospital. "Boss, just… find him, okay?"

"Count on it, McGee," Gibbs said in the tone of a solemn promise.

Kate was sure they'd find Tony; she just didn't know what condition they'd find him in. He hadn't even had a chance to begin to recover from the injuries he'd already suffered. Adding hallucinogenic drugs to the mix was bad, very bad.

Kate hung up and handed the phone to Abby so she could use both hands to hold on as Gibbs wove through the traffic bringing them closer to their destination.

* * *

Although he felt like he could take on an army, Tony knew he looked like shit. So, he wasn't unduly surprised when the paramedic grabbed his arm again.

"Sir, I really need you to come with me now. You need medical attention." The man was determined and wasn't going to be deterred with anything short of force. Force that Tony wasn't prepared to use yet. Just because he felt like he could take on all comers didn't mean that was the wisest course. He didn't want to call any unnecessary attention to himself just yet.

He was hazy on the details, but he knew that a bomb was going to go off at NCIS headquarters and he was the only one who could stop it. He just didn't think anyone would believe him if he tried to convince them of that sporting a bandage around his head. Time was of the essence now.

Biding his time, Tony allowed himself to be led toward the waiting ambulance since it was in the direction he wanted to go anyway.

"What's you name?" the paramedic asked. His face was creased in concern.

Tony played along. As they walked they were drawing closer to his target, just another couple of steps and he could make his move "Tony. My name is Tony."

"Tell you what, Tony, you just come with me." The man talked soothingly, his hold on Tony's arm loosening now that he appeared to be cooperating, "we'll take care of you and get you to a hospital. It looks like that's where you belong right now."

If he only knew.

As they walked Tony kept a constant watch on the scene, assessing the situation and looking for the best escape route. His focus narrowed when he saw the car that sat idling on the side of the road, its owner was nowhere in sight. He took in the position of the cops and whether they'd be able to give any pursuit. Satisfied that everything was as good as it was going to get, he made his move.

"Sorry," he told the paramedic as he punched him quickly. The man didn't expect it and went down like a stone.

Quickly Tony glanced around once more to make sure that no one had seen what happened. Hefting the man by the shoulders, he dragged the body out of site behind a car. Then, taking a deep breath, he walked quickly towards the vehicle that was his goal. He didn't run, that would draw attention he didn't want. He just picked up his pace a little, the car his only goal. When he reached the vehicle he ran an appreciative hand over it.

Yes, it was a means to an end, but he could appreciate the clean lines of the sleek vehicle, the hum of the engine as it idled waiting for its owner to return. To someone watching, it would just look like he was appreciating a fine automobile.

His luck was holding out. No one had found the unconscious paramedic and everyone else was clustered around the car with the injured woman in it. He was sorry that the woman was hurt but it served his purpose that she was the center of attention for the moment.

He slid into the driver's seat, savoring the leather interior, caressing the wheel under his hands. He revved the engine a little and heard the quiet hum that declared that there was more than enough power to get him wherever he wanted to go.

He put the car into gear and slid slowly forward into the traffic moving away from the accident. He watched the scene behind him all the way. He was prepared to step on the gas if an alarm was raised, but it never came.

The rest of the trip to his office was remarkably uneventful. Tony kept expecting someone – Gibbs, his father, hell, Kate, to show up in the passenger seat, but it stayed obstinately empty. It was unsettling and a little lonely, he was becoming used to their presence.

Pulling into his usual parking place, he observed the building. For the life of him he couldn't see anything odd to indicate that a tragedy was about to take place there. It looked like it did every morning when he arrived.

He expected to have to charm his way through security, he'd done it before, but those times he'd been dressed in a little more than scrubs and sporting a bandage around his head like a turban. He was prepared with a wild story about being under cover. He was disappointed when he didn't have to use it.

It didn't occur to him that it was odd when there was no one at the security station and the security doors were conspicuously open. He wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth though. He was in the building and that was what was important.

He made it to the elevators without encountering a soul, which was a little odd. NCIS was a busy place. There was a lot of people who worked there – from the people who logged in evidence, all the way to the people who delivered their mail every day. He liked that, coming to work in the morning and finding his mail waiting for him on his desk. It made him feel like he belonged somehow, to have mail on his desk with his name on it.

Walking through the halls it felt like a ghost town. The lights were on, but no one was at home. He guessed he should be grateful for that, less people to get out of the building. He might have given it more thought if he couldn't feel that whatever was keeping him moving was beginning to wear off. His vision was beginning to get fuzzy around the edges and his hands were shaking.

Inside the elevator he punched the button for his floor a little harder than necessary. He wrapped his arms around himself to keep himself together. He'd begun to feel like he was going to fly apart any moment now. It would do no good to have pieces of Tony DiNozzo everywhere.

"Doesn't look like you're doing so well," Gibbs observed nonchalantly from his position in the corner of the elevator.

"Been better, boss," Tony answered honestly. What the hell? Gibbs was his subconscious after all; he knew how Tony really felt.

"So why don't you go back to the hospital?" he asked quietly, raising a questioning brow.

"Got something to do first," Tony replied shortly.

"Yeah, about that, you sure about this?" Gibbs asked.

"What's there to think about?" Tony asked puzzled. "It's just something I gotta do. You saying I should just let the building blow up?"

Gibbs watched him with eyes that seemed to say it was up to him to decide.

"Okay, well if you're sure," Gibbs didn't have time to say anything else because they were at his floor and the doors opened. Tony stepped out leaving the other man behind. Something a real Gibbs would never allow.

The office was deserted which was really odd. The sun was streaming through the window and dust motes danced in the air, but that was all that was moving. Tony wondered if there was a meeting somewhere that no one had told him about, or an NCIS picnic. Yeah that would be just his luck. Come to save everyone's lives and no one was there to be saved.

But he couldn't take that chance, and he didn't have time to search the whole building. His plan was the fastest way of making sure everyone got out safely. He sat at his desk, brushing away a tiny speck of dust there. Automatically he unlocked the drawer with his weapon, checking it and loading it before tucking it away.

Tony couldn't help it, he looked up at the clock – it was 11:45.

 _Maybe they thought he was unconscious, maybe they just didn't care, but Tony didn't move a muscle to let his captors know that he was awake and aware and listening avidly to their every word._

 _"Do we have everything we need?" The voice asked. He remembered he voice with its Middle Eastern accent._

 _Tony wished he could open his eyes; see who was standing next to him. But he didn't dare give away the fact that he was awake. He needed to hear what they were saying._

 _"Yes, we have everything we need to gain access to the NCIS facility and blow it up. We will take care of this thorn in our side once and for all." Now that was a voice he recognized. It was one of the men who had come to his apartment. He clenched his fists thinking how he would take the man apart slowly once he was able._

 _"And this one?" the contempt and disdain was evident in the first voice. If he had his way, Tony would be dead._

 _Tony willed himself to relax; he couldn't let them know he was awake and listening. Everything depended on him getting as much Intel as he could._

 _"Leave him, let his friends find him like that. He doesn't know anything that will help them stop us, and it will keep them busy trying to figure it out. By noon tomorrow NCIS and everything in it will be so much rubble._

Tony scooped up the phone and dialed the operator.

He was counting on the fact that the NCIS had excellent emergency procedures in place. Just tell them that there was a fire and things started happening at a satisfactory speed. Alarms began to sound, the fire department would be called, and people would be evacuated. It was going to be okay.

He had cut things a little closer than he'd liked, but he was pretty sure everyone could get out by the noon deadline. He knew he should get up and evacuate the building, too, but he was suddenly so tired, he couldn't move. He'd done everything he could do, and now he was done. He laid his head on his desk and just appreciated the fact that he'd succeeded in his self-appointed mission.

"So, seen any good movies lately, DiNozzo?" Gibbs' question startled him out of a doze.

"What?" he blinked up at his boss, trying to decide if he were real or imagined.

Gibbs sat a hip on Tony's desk and Tony decided he couldn't be real; his whole posture was just too relaxed, "I saw a good one the other day. The Manchurian Candidate. You ever seen it?"

Tony perked up immediately, his whole demeanor brightening. He couldn't help himself, as a kid, movies had been his only friends. He'd stay up late at night mesmerized by the larger than life people he saw there, transported by the stories.

"We talking the original with Frank Sinatra or the remake with Denzel Washington and Meryel Streep?"

"Really, gentlemen, is there time for this?"

Tony had really hoped his father's hallucination was gone for good.

"Who invited you to the party?" Gibbs asked before Tony could say a word.

Tony decided he really didn't have the strength. He dropped his head back to his arms and let his hallucinations fight amongst themselves.

"Agent DiNozzo."

A new voice shouting his name forced Tony to lift his head back up. There was a fireman standing beside his desk looking down at him.

"Excellent work, Agent DiNozzo," he said, "You have completed your mission well."

It was a measure of how tired Tony was that it took him a full five seconds to realize he knew the fireman. It was one of the men who had appeared at his apartment and kidnapped him, one of the men who had strapped him into a chair and tortured him. The man circled around the desk and grabbed Tony by the neck, pulling his head back so he was looking up at the man.

"Where are the people?" the man growled fiercely, his fingers biting deep into the muscles of Tony's neck.

The people? It filtered through Tony's increasingly scattered thoughts that he hadn't seen anyone since he'd entered the building. "I don't know, I have to get them out of the building," he mumbled.

The man slammed his head on the desk and the pain took away his breath. It took all his remaining strength to push back the blackness and remember how to breathe. It would be so easy to give into that blackness, but he couldn't yet, he had to find out what was going on. Gibbs would depend on him to hold on.

When he could hear again, the man was leaning in close, "Your job was to get us in, and you've done that, what should I do with you now?"

The man pulled a gun from somewhere and put it to Tony's temple, he could feel it pressing, cold and heavy.

"No, wait," Tony said desperately, trying to stall. For what he didn't know, but stalling was always the best thing to do, "I… I don't understand. What do you want?"

The man bent down to whisper in his ear, "Understand this, Agent DiNozzo, we're going to bring down NCIS and it's all your fault. Your agency has interfered in my people's fight for too long now. Now you will pay."

Tony could see the hand holding the gun to his head. He could see the finger tightening on the trigger. He heard the gun shot and pain exploded in his head…

-NCIS-

It was hell to just stand and watch, using an injured DiNozzo as bait. Every part of him screamed it was wrong, but they just hadn't had time set up anything else. He could feel Kate behind him fidgeting, ready to run in and drag Tony out. Gibbs knew she would hang on, just as he did, but they didn't have to like it.

Tony was in bad shape, talking to himself. He'd done that a couple of times now since he'd entered the building. He needed to be back at the hospital. And he would be, just as soon as they had the dirtbags responsible for the whole mess.

Gibbs tensed when the alarms went off. He waited, knowing that whatever was going to happen, it would be soon.

"Stand by," he said low to all the teams waiting.

"Gibbs, we have firefighters at the front door," Agent Monroe advised, his voice also pitched at a whisper.

"Do we have confirmation that they're official?" Gibbs asked.

"No, sir. We've contacted the fire department and they've been advised that this is a false alarm. These aren't our people."

It all clicked for Gibbs then. Fornell's Intel that there was going to be a terrorist attack, Tony's abduction and programming, all the information came together and he knew what was happening. NCIS itself was the target – except it was too well-protected for the terrorists to get in, they needed someone on the inside. That someone was Tony.

They'd programmed him to think he was preventing an attack, when he was actually letting the bad guys in. Tony was going to be devastated when he found out what he had done, but Gibbs was determined that the only people being hurt today was the dirt bags who tried to use his people.

"Alright, let them in, let them get comfortable, find out what their plans are, then detain them. I'm here with DiNozzo."

"Copy that, Gibbs. I'll let you know when we have the situation contained."

Gibbs knew he didn't have to worry about the hostiles downstairs. He just needed to make sure they had everything tied down before they pulled the plug and took DiNozzo back to the hospital. And he would be staying there this time, if Gibbs had to handcuff him to the bed.

Calling in the fire emergency seemed to take everything he had; Tony was down now with his head on his desk. It took all Gibbs had not to break cover and go to him, not to call for the ambulance and get Tony out. He even took a step forward when something down the hall caught the corner of his eye.

There was movement.

"Heads up," Gibbs advised Kate.

He could feel the tension radiating from her. She was coiled as tightly as he, needing something to hit, to make someone else pay for the pain that had been inflicted on their team, on Tony.

A fireman approached Tony's desk.

"Gibbs," Agent Monroe spoke, "one of the hostiles got away. He's headed your way."

"We've got him," Gibbs answered shortly.

He gestured for Kate to circle around. He held up 10 fingers for her. She nodded and then moved away.

They'd catch the dirtbag in a cross-fire. Gibbs just hoped he gave them ten seconds.

"Agent DiNozzo," the firefighter went straight to Tony as Gibbs crouched down and slowly worked his way down the hall. He placed his steps carefully, not making any noise that would alert anyone to his presence.

 _One Mississippi…._ Gibbs began the count in his head. Ten seconds seemed like an awfully long time.

"Excellent work, Agent DiNozzo," the man said, "you've completed your mission well."

 _Two Mississippi…_ Gibbs kept working his way down the hall, counting, and giving Kate time to get in place before he could make his move.

"Where are the people?" Gibbs heard the man ask.

 _Three Mississippi… Four Mississippi._

Tony spluttered, Gibbs could hear him struggling weakly trying to break free of the other man's grasp. The anger ran through him like fire, a fire he was about to rain down on the other man's head.

 _Five Mississippi…._

"I don't know, I have to get them out of the building." Tony mumbled.

 _Six Mississippi_ … Keep talking, DiNozzo, Gibbs thought. Keep the dirtbag occupied so we can take him out.

Gibbs heard Tony's head hit the desk and Tony's low moan of pain. He almost did break cover then. It was only the other man's voice that stopped him.

 _Seven Mississippi…_

"Your job was to get us in, and you've done that, what should I do with you now?"

 _Eight Mississippi…_

"No, wait," Tony was babbling now, "I… I don't understand. What do you want?"

 _Nine Mississippi…_

"Understand this, Agent DiNozzo, we're going to bring down NCIS and it's all your fault. Your agency has interfered in my people's fight for too long now. Now you will pay.""

Gibbs heard the cock of the gun and there was no more time. He stood and sighted, firing at the other man, not knowing if he'd been in time until he saw the firefighter fall.

He ran, kicking the falling gun away. It went against all his training, but he'd shot to maim and not to kill. They really needed the man alive to make sure they had all their answers. The round had been through his shoulder.

The man glared up at him with eyes filled with hate. Truly if looks could kill, Leroy Jethro Gibbs would be a dead man.

"You have not won," the man asserted, his bravado a mask for his fear.

"Oh, I think I have," Gibbs countered, cuffing the man before turning to DiNozzo.

The dirtbag had hit him on the way down, and Tony was unconscious again. Gibbs lifted him, leaning him back in the chair. Kate was there, then, hovering behind his shoulder anxiously.

"Hey, DiNozzo," he called softly, "wake up for me."

Tony came to with a jerk, pushing away in the chair.

"Boss? Are you real?" His eyes were glassy and his movements sluggish, but he was awake. He reached out a hand to grab Gibbs' cuff.

"Yeah, we're real, DiNozzo, and if you ever pull a stunt like that again, you're going to be working in the file room for the next six months."

"Hey, Tony," Kate said from behind him.

"Kate? You're here, too?" Tony was suddenly angry and trying to stand, "Don't you guys understand? There's a bomb, we have to get out of the building."

Gibbs grabbed him, wrestling him back into the chair, "DiNozzo there's no bomb. They set you up so they could get in the building and set the explosives. We've caught them, everything's alright. See?" Gibbs gestured to the man handcuffed and bleeding on the floor.

"Agent DiNozzo, it is true you have been part of Operation Turnkey," the man said forcefully, focusing all of his attention on Tony. "Now complete your mission."

Tony's demeanor changed in an instant. He stood again, this time pushing himself away from Gibbs. He pulled the gun that he'd tucked earlier in the small of his back and took careful aim.

"Tony, what are you doing?" Kate cried in horror. She took a step toward him and he cocked his head to look at her, although the gun never wavered.

"Stay back," he said with a snarl, "This one's for him, but I can just as easily shoot you, too." Then he turned his attention fully back to Gibbs.

Gibbs couldn't believe. He knew he should have killed the dirtbag when he had a chance. Tony was pointing the gun straight at his head and his finger was tightening on the trigger.

-NCIS-

Tony was so confused. The people around him kept changing, morphing from one to another.

He thought he'd been talking to Gibbs and Kate, he had been so relieved to see them and they had seemed so real and clear and right there with him. But they must have been another hallucination, because now he was confronting his attackers, the men who had showed up at his door and taken him from his home. Mike and Steve, isn't that what he'd told Mr. Kransky?

He didn't know where he was anymore. It was like a merry-go-round, all he had to do was blink and he was gone from one place and in another.

He was strapped in the chair listening with horror to what was in store for his team.

" _We'll start with the girls, no need to kill them right away. We could have fun with them," the coarse voice reverberated in Tony's head._

 _He shook with anger and knew that if he had a chance he would kill the man._

And just as abruptly he was back in his office facing Mike and Steve with a gun in his hand.

His head was pounding, it felt like someone was using a jackhammer to split it in two. He was shaking so much now that he had to hold onto the gun with both hands to keep from shooting someone accidentally.

If he shot someone he wanted to do it on purpose.

He could feel the tears prickling behind his eyes and he blinked to clear them, he couldn't yield to the weakness yet, not until the men responsible for his pain was dead. Once they were dead his friends would be safe.

"DiNozzo, don't do this." Mike said earnestly. He held his hands held up. Dropping the gun on the floor, he kicked it away.

"Shut up," Tony told him fiercely. "You don't get to speak. I'm in charge here."

"Really, Tony," Steve cut in, speaking in wheedling tones. He dropped his gun, too and backed away a step, "it **is** us, Kate and Gibbs. You're going to be really sorry if you kill us."

"Shut up!" Tony backed up until he hit the edge of his desk, it gave him something to lean his weight on, to balance himself. "Just shut up, you're trying to confuse me and I won't let you."

"What about me, Tony?" Hallucination Gibbs was there, standing between Mike and Tony's gun. "Am I trying to confuse you?"

"What?" His vision was becoming blurry now and it was hard to see, but he would always know his boss. He felt relief wash over him. Gibbs was back and, hallucination or not, he'd know what to do. Tony struggled to focus on him, to meet his gaze.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Tony. I can't lie to you, I am you. And I'm telling you that if you kill these people, you'll regret it the rest of your life." His voice was low and even, soothing.

Tony nearly let his hand drop, but then the other voice spoke.

"Don't listen to him, Anthony."

Tony almost groaned out loud when his father rejoined the party.

"Go ahead shoot them, it would feel so good," His father stood behind Tony whispering seductively in his ear, "they deserves to die for what they've done to you and for what they're planning on doing to your friends. You have to protect them. It's your duty to protect them."

It was true. They deserved it for what they'd done to him; leaving him in the cage, left to rot, filthy and stinking. Not even an animal should have been left like that. They deserved it for what they were going to do to his friends.

He lifted the gun and took a step forward letting his finger tighten on the trigger.

"DiNozzo," Mike said urgently, "Tony, stay with us, here. Think about what you're doing."

"Yes, think," his father whispered. "Think about who you'll be saving. Kate, you like Kate don't you?"

"Yes," he answered desperately, grasping at thoughts trying to hold onto them, "Kate's my friend. She doesn't think she is, but she is."

"Tony, please, I know we're friends. A little dysfunctional sometimes, but we're friends," Steve pleaded with him, his eyes beseeching. But Tony wasn't going to let himself be fooled.

"Stop it, just stop it all of you, I have to think." Tony shouted at everyone and no one. He spun trying to cover everyone, real and imagined. The room kept slipping on him though, the walls became someplace else, constantly shifting, making him dizzy and sick.

"Yes, Tony, think," Gibbs said quietly, his voice cutting through all the other cacophony. Tony felt some measure of calm return just hearing his steady voice. "Think before you pull that trigger."

"What's there to think about?" his father countered with a sneer, "It's the one thing you're good at, Anthony, shooting, killing. Do this one thing, then you can rest."

Rest would be good, if he could just rest he could make sense out of what was happening, he'd know what to do.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs spoke sharply now, sounding like he wanted to slap Tony on the back of the head, "If you pull that trigger you better be damn sure what you're shooting at. Are you sure?"

No, he wasn't sure of anything.

He was in his office, he knew he was in the office, the walls solid and real around him…

 _Then he was in the chair, unknown drugs working their way through his veins._

 _And he was sitting in the cage, shivering and puking his guts up._

Desperately he swung the gun from one man to the next trying to figure out who to trust, who to listen to.

"Tony," his father said from behind him, "trust me. I know what I'm talking about."

Turning, Tony swiftly pumped three rounds into the apparition of his father. Everything around him splintered then, like shards of glass falling to the floor. His strength was gone, he had nothing to hold him up and he fell heavily to his knees, dropping the gun from shaking hands.

And Gibbs was there, holding him up, supporting him.

"Hey, boss," he whispered, licking his lips.

"You back with us, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, his hands catching Tony and gently easing him to the floor.

Tony would have suspected he was the hallucination because his eyes were sad and concerned, except Tony felt him, real and solid at his back.

"Yeah, yeah, I think so." He gave a small shake of his head, it was all he could manage. He reached out and grabbed onto Gibbs' sleeve, fingers grasping the material of his sports coat.

"Don't let me go, 'kay?" he whispered before he shut his eyes and relaxed back into Gibbs with a small sigh.

-NCIS-

It had been close. Closer than Gibbs ever wanted to be again.

Kneeling on the floor, supporting Tony's unconscious body, Gibbs allowed himself to acknowledge the fear he'd been holding at bay for so many hours. He'd known fear a lot of times. Fear was a good thing. It warned you when things were about to hit the fan, it warned you to run, it warned you when you should duck and cover rather than to hold your ground. Fear made his senses sharper and his responses faster. Fear was something he'd learned how to control and channel a long time ago.

But this fear had been different. It hadn't been fear for himself or even for Kate, fear that they might die. No, it had been fear for the man he knew as Tony DiNozzo. Because if Tony had pulled that trigger, if he had done what he'd been programmed to do – kill Leroy Jethro Gibbs, then Anthony DiNozzo would cease to exist. When he realized what he had done, the knowledge would kill Tony. And whether he actually got up and walked away from what had happened, he would never be the same man again.

Gibbs shifted so that he was sitting, easing Tony down, but still not letting go. He met Kate's eyes where she stood guarding their prisoner. He saw the same fear and knowledge in her eyes.

It had been close.

Tony moaned and began to shake as fine tremors began to run through his body. Gibbs felt for a pulse and didn't like what he found.

Tapping the radio in his ear, he snapped, "We need Ducky up here, now."

He heard clattering footsteps and Abby appeared, she came streaking around the corner, stopping when she saw them.

"Is he…?" she couldn't finish the sentence, but Gibbs knew what she was asking.

"He's alive," Gibbs assured her.

Kate had the dirtbag up and was taking him away. Gibbs knew how hard it was for her, she would want to stay with Tony, too, but Gibbs wasn't giving her a choice. He had DiNozzo and he wasn't letting go any time soon.

Abby's eyes were wide and Gibbs could see the tracks where the tears had smeared her mascara. "He was going to shoot you," she breathed.

"But he didn't, Abby," Gibbs told her. "He broke the conditioning somehow." Somehow. Tony was so much stronger than any of them knew.

She nodded, chewing on her lip, "Is he going to be alright?"

"We'll make sure of it, Abs," Gibbs promised her.

The shuddering grew stronger and Tony began to convulse, "Where is Ducky?" he shouted.

"Here, Jethro," Ducky called from the elevator.

He was accompanied by medics who pulled Tony from his grasp. Gibbs' instinct was to hold on. He couldn't stand to lose him one more time.

Ducky put a steadying hand on his shoulder, "Jethro, let them do their work. He will be alright."

"He'd better be, Ducky," Gibbs growled, "or he's going to answer to me."

Gibbs stood by scowling as they did their work until Tony was, once again, on his way to the hospital.


	7. Finding Normal

Tony opened his eyes to find himself once again in the hospital, he just wasn't sure he could trust it. So many times he'd thought he was one place only to have it twist and find himself somewhere else. Moving restlessly in the bed, he plucked at the IV in his arm, determined to get up and find out for himself what was real.

A firm hand on his wrist stopped him. He looked up to find Gibbs leaning over him.

"You with me, DiNozzo?" he asked, his gaze piercing.

Tony could feel Gibbs fingers on his wrist, solid and warm and real. He licked his lips and felt his own weariness sweep over him.

"Guess so, boss." He shut his eyes for a moment. He felt Gibbs hold on his wrist loosen as he started to pull away and panic hit him. He grabbed for Gibbs' hand. "Don't," he gasped. The heart monitor reflected the frantic beat of his heart.

"What?" Gibbs was poised, ready to call for the doctor if he needed to.

"I need… to know you're…. you," Tony said, hoping that Gibbs would understand because he wasn't certain he did.

Gibbs pulled the chair he'd been sitting in a little closer and let his hand rest lightly on Tony's arm.

"Who else am I going to be, DiNozzo?" he asked, keeping his tone light.

Tony didn't answer. The heart monitor continued in its frantic pace as his memories began to surface.

"Gibbs, did I…?"

Gibbs stopped him immediately, "It's alright, DiNozzo. Everyone's okay."

Tony's glance took in the empty bed next to his, "McGee?"

"You've been out of it awhile, DiNozzo, McGee's been released. I sent him home to get some rest, like you should be."

"You know me, boss…" Tony's eyes shut and then snapped open again. His hand reached to grasp Gibbs's wrist once more, "I never follow orders." His lips quirked in a ghost of his cheeky smirk.

"You'd better this time, DiNozzo, or you'll have me to answer to," Gibbs strove to keep his tone level, normal. "Once you're out of here I expect you back at work, and if you're late, so help me, I'm going to kick your butt into next week."

Tony was losing the fight with sleep, but he rallied enough to whisper, "As if I'd ever be late, boss."

Even once he was asleep, Tony's fingers stayed clasped loosely around Gibbs' wrist.

* * *

"Good evening, Doctor, you're here late," the nurse commented as he walked by her station. She smiled up at him, flirting just a little.

"Just wanted to check on a few patients, then I'll be out of your hair," he told her, returning the smile as he continued on his way.

It was getting late. Visiting hours were over and the night shift had settled in. The halls were quiet and the doctor's footsteps echoed as he walked, pausing at doors to look inside. It wasn't necessary, he'd done his rounds, he just liked to reassure himself that his patients were resting comfortably before he left. It helped him sleep better at night.

It had been a long shift and he stretched sore muscles as he walked. It wasn't often he had a patient escape, that had caused quite a stir in the hospital. But things had turned out well, with the NCIS agent returned to the hospital, even if he was a little more bruised and battered than when he'd left.

He stopped outside the NCIS agent's door and glanced inside. His patient was sleeping and would be for a while. His injuries had been severe, but the man was a fighter, a lesser man wouldn't have survived this long.

The doctor was surprised to find DiNozzo was alone. One or the other of his co-workers had been sitting with him the entire day; they hadn't left his side for a second. Whether they thought he was still in danger or whether they just needed to be with him, the doctor didn't know, didn't ask. He'd just allowed them to stay, not even bothering to argue.

He checked down the hallway in the direction of the coffee machine expecting to see Special Agent Gibbs there. He always seemed to have a cup in his hand. There was no sign of anyone. The doctor went into the room shutting the door behind him.

"Well, well, Agent DiNozzo," he said conversationally though the man in the bed continued sleeping obliviously, "it looks like we're alone at last." He picked up the chart and made a note or two.

DiNozzo stirred, perhaps responding to his voice; maybe he just had an itch. As sedated as he was, he wasn't likely to wake up any time soon.

"Nothing to worry about, in fact you're responding quite well to the treatment," he assured his unconscious patient. "I was surprised. I never expected you to recover. I mean after what you've been through, you must have quite the will to live."

The doctor looked around the darkened room. Then, moving decisively, he picked up a pillow from the empty bed. "It's too bad that your friends weren't here when your condition took a turn for the worse. I did everything I could to save you of course, but your condition was just too severe."

DiNozzo stirred again, mumbling something in his sleep. The doctor actually imagined he might be trying to wake up and protect himself. Of course that was impossible, he was just projecting some of his own fears onto the man lying in the bed.

He bent down to whisper into DiNozzo's ear, "It's too bad, I don't have anything against you. You're quite intriguing actually, I still don't know how you broke the programming, but I can't leave any loose ends lying around."

He straightened, holding the pillow over DiNozzo's face and pressing down firmly. "Don't worry, this won't hurt at all."

Gibbs pushed back the curtain he'd hidden himself behind. He stepped out of the shadows, his gun leveled on the doctor.

"Step away from my agent, Doctor," he ordered.

The doctor straightened smoothly, but he didn't move from where he stood at Tony's side. "Ah, Special Agent Gibbs, there you are. I was just trying to make sure my patient was comfortable." He raised a brow at the gun, but otherwise appeared to be entirely unconcerned about it.

"You can cut the act, Doc, I was here the entire time," Gibbs growled.

It took all of his control to not pull the trigger and end the hell they'd all endured.

"I said step away from him, asshole," the tone brooked no disobedience, and the doctor did take a step back, still holding the pillow in front of him like a shield.

"I don't know what's going on here, Agent Gibbs, but I insist that you put the gun down." Gibbs had to give him points for having balls. The doctor didn't even blink at being confronted red-handed with the smoking gun in his hand, as it were.

Gibbs didn't move a muscle, holding the gun steadily, keeping the doctor in his sights, "I said cut the crap," a lesser man would have been quelled by just the tone; but the doctor just stayed, holding his ground, watching Gibbs coolly. "We picked up your orderlies and they've rolled on you. We know everything."

The doctor did flinch at that, he dropped the pillow to reveal the gun he was holding. It was pointed at Tony's unconscious body. Gibbs knew he should have shot him while he had the chance.

"Oh, I doubt you know the whole thing," the doctor sneered, changing in the space of a second from caring professional to cold-blooded killer. His eyes glittered with a mad light that Gibbs didn't like.

"We know that you're the one who engineered the drugs injected into Tony," Gibbs said. His focus narrowed to the point where the gun pressed against Tony's head. "We know that it was your research that was used to program Tony."

"Oh, bravo, Special Agent Gibbs, good for you. Now I'll tell you what I know. If you don't drop your weapon and step away from the door, I'm going to put a bullet into Agent DiNozzo's head. After all he's been through, that would be so tragic."

"You're never going to get away with this," Gibbs growled.

He just had to stall for time; Kate was on the way with back up. There was no way the doctor was getting out, but there was also no way Gibbs was going to allow him to hurt Tony again.

"Agent Gibbs, I am serious, I will shoot this man. Now drop your weapon and move away from the door."

It was deadlock with neither man budging to give an inch.

Gibbs was an expert on reading people; he had to be able to tell when a perp was going to run or when a gun-toting madman was going to shoot. He could see the doctor's finger tightening on the trigger and Gibbs lowered his weapon.

The doctor's lip curved into a cruel smile, "I knew you'd see it my way, Agent Gibbs, now move away from the door, and I'll take my leave."

Gibbs saw Tony's eye open, but the doctor didn't, his attention was focused solely on Gibbs. He didn't know that Tony was aware of what was happening until Tony had hold of his wrist and twisted. The move didn't require much strength, which was a good thing because Tony didn't have any to spare. It was enough.

The doctor gave a gasp, more surprised than pained and he dropped his gun onto the bed. It gave Gibbs time to cross the room and pull the doctor away from Tony. He slammed him to the floor, planting a foot in his back.

He glanced back to see Tony pick up the gun with trembling hands.

The doctor twisted and shouted, "Operation Turnkey," before Gibbs could silence him.

All the blood drained from Tony's face and the shaking of his hands increased. He raised his eyes to meet Gibbs. Gibbs could see the terrible fear there, the dread that he could be used as a weapon against the people he cared about most in the world.

"It's alright, DiNozzo," he said matter of factly, "I trust you."

The gratitude flashed in DiNozzo's eyes and he dropped the gun as if it burned him, pushing it further away from him.

The door opened and Kate stepped through. She stopped in astonishment at what she found. She stood in the door with her mouth open, for once in her life with nothing to say.

"Hey, Kate," Tony said, "You missed the party."

Gibbs searched the man on the floor thoroughly, clicking handcuffs into place before he pulled the doctor to his feet. He took no care to be gentle. Once the doctor was up, Gibbs thrust him at Kate.

"Get him out of here before I shoot him," he said shortly. Using a glove he pulled from his pocket, he picked up the gun from the bed handing it over to Kate. She had a handkerchief in her bag that she used to wrap around it.

She gave a glance to Tony to check on his condition before she shoved the man through the door in front of her. Two other agents met them in the hallway. The door shut as the doctor was led away.

Gibbs moved so that he was back at Tony's side. "You okay?" he asked gruffly.

Tony huffed out a breath. His hand sought the reassurance of Gibbs' arm without even being aware he did it. It was just the barest touch and he relaxed a little, letting his hand fall back onto the bed.

"This is getting old," he said with a tired yawn.

"You're telling me," Gibbs agreed with a nod. He sat. "Go back to sleep, I'll stay and make sure there are no more insane doctors out to kill you."

Tony was too tired to even smile, "But you will let the hot nurses in, won't you, boss?" he asked anxiously.

Gibbs eyes narrowed sternly, "If you can worry about the nurses then you're not too sick, DiNozzo." He leaned forward, his hand poised over Tony's head.

Tony closed his eyes, his whole body relaxing at last into the bed, "Going to sleep, boss," he murmured.

It didn't take long for his breathing to even out as he returned to the sleep his body needed to heal.

Gibbs picked up the newspaper he'd been reading when Kate called with the information about the doctor. Turning to the sports page he returned to his vigil, making sure Tony stayed safe.

* * *

Even though it was raining outside and he was pretty much soaked to the skin, Tony passed through the security doors at NCIS with a smile and a spring in his step. It was good to be back. After all the time in the hospital and weeks spent recovering he'd wondered if he would ever make it back.

He waved breezily at the security guard standing at his post observing the people going in and out of the building.

"Hey, Dave," Tony called out as he passed.

The tall black man smiled back genially, breaking the stern visage he presented to the public just for a second. "Hey, Tony, it's good to see you back."

Tony continued on his way anxious to get up to the office calling over his shoulder, "It's good to be back."

It was good to be back.

At the elevators, Tony pushed the up button and waited impatiently for the car to arrive. He bounced lightly to the music in his head, scrutinizing his reflection in the mirrored surface of the elevator door. He was still a little pale, but he thought he'd pass muster. Hopefully Gibbs wouldn't send him straight home because he needed to be back at work. He needed to prove to himself that he could do it.

Besides they needed him back, there was too much work for just Kate and McGee.

He imagined the welcome he'd receive from his co-workers. Kate would smile and say she'd missed him, McGee would shake his hand and welcome him back. And Gibbs…

Well Gibbs would probably hit him on the back of the head and tell him to get back to work. And that was okay. It was normal. Tony desperately needed for everything to be normal again. His life had been out of control for too long now and he needed to take it back.

Pinging its arrival, the elevator doors opened. Tony stepped in, pressing the button for his floor. Just as the doors were shutting, a body squeezed itself through them, joining him in the elevator car.

Bright blue eyes framed by honey blonde hair sparkled up at him.

Oh, yes, it was going to be a good day.

He leaned against the wall in his best casual manner and drawled, "What floor do you need there, Missy?"

She didn't answer, just lifted a brow before leaning in to push the button herself. Tony caught a hint of her perfume – it was light and feminine, with floral undertones.

"An independent woman," he said in warm approval, "I like independent women."

"Agent DiNozzo." She had a light, lilting southern accent, "It's good to see you back." She smiled up at him, revealing dimples.

Instead of the anticipation of the chase that he usually felt when confronted with a beautiful woman, Tony felt a stir of unease.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" he asked cautiously, straightening.

"Why Agent DiNozzo, I'm hurt." She pouted with her eyes downcast demurely.

The elevator reached the third floor and stopped smoothly…

"Because I'm sure I'd remember you." He studied her face, trying to remember if he'd ever met her before.

She peeked up at him through a curtain of hair, "Well, you really weren't at your best."

The doors were opening…

"We worked together on Operation Turnkey."

Her bright smile turned malicious and she handed him a gun. "You know what you have to do."

Tony stumbled out of the elevator, looking at her over his shoulder. She made a shooing motion with her hands and the doors slid shut, hiding her from him.

"Tony!" Abby's glad cry pulled him back around. Before he could move or react, she threw her arms around him, squeezing him tightly.

"Abby." He half-heartedly returned her hug.

She didn't seem to notice the gun as she grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him into the office.

There was a sign – _Welcome Back Tony,_ and a cake.

Kate was there smiling. She stood with McGee and Ducky and Jimmy Palmer, they stood in front of his desk, waiting for him. Agents from other teams were standing, watching over the partitions.

Tony felt the gun in his hand, cold and heavy. He wanted to let it go, he wanted to drop it, but he couldn't make his hand release it. No one else seemed to think it was odd that he was walking into the office with a gun in his hand, though. They all smiled at him amiably.

Kate stepped forward and hugged him, "We missed you, Tony," she whispered into his ear.

As soon as she released him, McGee grabbed his hand, shaking it enthusiastically, "Hey, welcome back, Tony, nothing's been the same here without you."

Tony stood rooted to the spot, waiting for someone to pinch him and convince him that he was awake.

Ducky and Palmer grinned at him.

"It's good to see you, Anthony," Ducky said, a plate of cake in his hand.

"Yeah, you look good," Jimmy agreed with his amiable grin.

"Well, DiNozzo," Gibbs' voice startled him, and he turned to see his boss standing, just watching him. "Glad you finally decided to make it in to work."

Tony tried to explain to him that he had to recuperate, that he'd been on sick leave. The words stuck in his throat and wouldn't come out of his mouth. He found himself raising the gun against his will. He fought against it, but the gun just kept raising, pointing at Gibbs.

Gibbs didn't move, didn't try to stop him, just stood there.

"Boss," Tony gasped as the gun fired, his finger pulling the trigger of its own accord.

Gibbs was on the floor, a pool of blood beginning to spread beneath him, a single gun shot between his eyes. Tony staggered away, he had shot Gibbs. The man he respected most in the world, he'd betrayed him by killing him.

Kate screamed. She fell on her knees next to Gibbs' body.

"Tony," there were already tears falling, "what have you done?"

Tony dropped the gun. Now he could let it go, and it hit the floor with a hollow thud. People were starting to come from everywhere to find out what was causing the commotion, but Tony didn't see them.

All he could see was Gibbs' dead eyes staring at him accusingly, and the pool of blood, spreading across the floor.

"Gibbs."

Tony jerked awake with his boss's name on his lips. He was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and his heart was tattooing its own rhythm inside his chest. He sucked in a breath and exhaled hard.

It wasn't real. It was a dream.

"Tony?"

He turned to find Kate sitting beside him, watching him with concern lining her face.

He was in the hospital still. It hadn't happened. He had to make sure it never happened.

"You okay?" she asked frowning at him in her concern.

"Now that's the question, isn't it, Katey." He didn't mean to antagonize her with the hated name, but it came as easy as breathing sometimes. It was what they did.

Was he ever going to be okay? Was he ever going to be able to trust himself again without being afraid that he was going to walk into work one day and someone would say the wrong thing and he'd go postal, killing everyone? Wasn't that what he'd been programmed to do?

She flopped back in her chair, lifting her magazine with disdain. "Well pardon me for being concerned," she replied.

"Kate? I'm sorry, okay. I'm just…" crazed came to mind, but he couldn't say it.

"It's the drugs," she supplied as a peace offering.

"Yeah, must be." He eyed the magazine, it was oddly familiar, but he couldn't remember why.

"Cosmo, Kate? What would your mother say?"

She started in the chair. She opened her mouth, then shut it. She looked up at him and he could see the puzzlement in her eyes. Instead of replying to his question, she changed the subject, "Does Gibbs know you dream about him?" she asked smugly.

"What? No, I don't," he shivered even as he denied it.

"Yes, you do. When you woke up just now, you said Gibbs."

"I did not," he denied vehemently.

"Did, too," she insisted just as hotly.

"Well, don't tell him, will you? He'll think it means something," Tony suddenly capitulated, tiring of the game quicker than he normally would have.

"Okay…" she deflated a little, waiting for him to speak. He could see that she wasn't quite certain what to say to him, wishing she could make it all better and not knowing how. Tony loved her for that.

"Pinch me," he said after a long silence where they just sat, staring at each other.

"What?" her eyes flicked to the call button.

He chuckled, "I'm not crazy, Kate, come on, just pinch me."

"Why?" She studied him, trying to determine if this was some new weird joke he was going to play on her.

He turned uncharacteristically solemn, suddenly interested in the blanket, "In that… cage, I had hallucinations. It was hard to tell what was real and what I was imagining. And now… well I just need to know that this is… real. Come on, Katey," he spoke softly in his best wheedling tone, "pinch me. You know you want to."

He offered the fleshy underside of his arm out to her, careful of the IV.

She looked from the arm to his face, he nodded his encouragement.

"DiNozzo if this one of you stupid, juvenile pranks, I swear…" she pinched him near the elbow.

"Oh, come on, you pinch like a girl," he jeered. "Pinch me!"

Her eyes narrowed and she pinched him again, harder this time.

"Ow!" He yelped just a little more than the sharp pain had called for and was delighted to see the concern come flooding back.

"I'm sorry, Tony, did I hurt you?" she leaned in, her fingers resting on his arm lightly.

"No, you didn't hurt me," he said with an evil smile, "you pinch like a girl."

She rolled her eyes and sat back. "That doesn't make any sense, Tony."

He let himself relax. More than the pinch, her tone let him know that this was real. Hallucination Kate never sounded that pissed.

"Where's Gibbs?" he asked.

He'd woken several times during the night, not sure where he was or what was real. Gibbs had been there every time with his hand resting lightly on Tony's arm.

"Some of us have work to do," she declared.

"So, you got the short straw?" he guessed.

"Tony…" she began.

"I understand, better hospital duty than work. Besides this way, you can catch up on all the latest tricks to," he squinted reading the front of the magazine, " _get into his pants_."

He raised a scandalized eyebrow and settled back into the pillows, "so, learn anything useful?"

She stood, throwing the magazine down, "I'm going for coffee, and you'd better be asleep when I get back."

She stormed past him.

He just grinned, "What? Was it something I said?"

He heard her muttered, "I can't believe I was worried about you," as the door slammed behind her.

He smiled, content. His life wasn't back to normal yet, but he had just made a step to getting there.

* * *

Tony sat with a contented sigh, leaning back into the cushions of the sofa, just enjoying the first real moment of alone time he'd had since he'd been released from the hospital. It seemed that someone from his team or one of his neighbors had been there every second, intent on making sure he was taking his meds, getting his rest, eating properly, that he was doing alright. They were hovering. And while he'd appreciated it the first day or so, it was getting annoying. He was a grown up and he could take care of himself.

He wouldn't confess, even to himself, that it freaked him out just a little to remember what his living room had looked like the last time he'd seen it. The dead body without a face on the sofa, the blood stained floors. Alright so maybe the company wasn't entirely unwelcome.

He hit play on the DVD player and settled back when there was a knock on his door.

He couldn't help it, he tensed ever so slightly. His hand snaked under the cushion and felt the reassurance of the cool metal hidden there.

"Come in," he called casually.

The door swung open and McGee stood there, framed in the door, in that long trench coat he wore, carrying a pizza box. He paused, frowning at Tony.

"Your door's not locked," he accused, his glare fierce and protective.

That made Tony smile, that McGee was protective of him.

"It's been like Grand Central here," he replied, letting go of the gun. He let himself relax muscle by muscle.

"Come in and shut the door or the neighbors will think it's an invitation and I don't think you brought enough pizza for everyone." He turned his attention back to the DVD, knowing McGee would take care of himself.

Tim came in a little hesitantly, not sure of his welcome. He handed the pizza to Tony and took off his coat. When he stood, not sure what to do with it, Tony pointed to the bench beside the door, it had a hook for McGee to hang his coat on.

He pulled the box onto his lap and inhaled deeply, "Pepperoni, sausage and extra cheese, my favorite," he exhaled in appreciation. "How'd you know?"

"I spend enough time at stake outs with you, Tony, I know what's your favorite pizza." Tim shook his coat out and hung it up neatly on the hook.

"Good work, Probie," Tony nodded in whole-hearted approval.

McGee gave that little half smile he got whenever he earned a measure of respect from one of his co-workers. Tony knew he should make some smart remark and take it back, but he let it go, McGee had earned it, and not just for the pizza.

"So," Tony picked up a slice and eyed it, anticipating it, "you got a white board back at the office with a visiting schedule all worked out?' He asked, watching McGee closely from the corner of his eye.

He knew he'd hit the mark when McGee's mouth dropped open and he sputtered. Tony didn't press; he practically knew the schedule by heart now anyway.

"So, McGee, want something to drink? Pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable."

Tim took the out, and headed for the kitchen, "Alright. Can I get you something?"

"Would you bring me a bottle of water?" Tony called after him.

He heard the refrigerator open.

"Water?"

"Seems it does a body good," Tony answered with a wry smile as McGee returned and handed him the bottle. "Who knew?"

"And Kate took all the beer when she left?" McGee hazarded a guess.

"Probie!"

Actually she'd dumped it all down the sink and threw the bottles in his trash, but Tony wasn't admitting that to McGee.

Tim sat in the chair and stretched out a little. Tony could see him letting himself relax. He'd seen them all do it over the last few days. They'd been so afraid he was going to die, he'd been afraid he was going to die. It took them a few minutes to relax and get back into the normal rhythm of their lives.

Tony couldn't wait until they were done treating him like fragile china that had to be handled gently or it would break. He hadn't broken, he wasn't going to break, and he just had to give them time to realize it.

Once Tim was settled, Tony pushed the play button on the DVD and the familiar theme song started to play.

"Magnum PI?" McGee asked incredulously, a hint of disdain coloring his voice.

"Hey, don't diss Magnum," Tony warned, "He's the guys guy, you know."

McGee just nodded doubtfully, breaking the cap on his water and taking a sip.

Tony took a bite of his pizza and chewed thoughtfully. "You know Magnum had the perfect life, he lived in Hawaii, had the Ferrari, the beautiful women."

"But you take away the car and the women and what did he have?" McGee leaned in and snagged a piece of the pizza.

"He had TC and Rick, he had Higgins and the dogs."

"Poor Tony, all you have is me and Kate," McGee laughed, never realizing that they'd crossed into a more serious topic until Tony leaned forward and deposited the pizza box on the table, the rest of his slice untasted.

"Yeah, and damn lucky to have you, too," he said, he let McGee see the sincerity in his eyes.

He caught McGee off guard, and he paused, pizza half way to his mouth.

"I… uhm… listen, Tony…"

"Kate told me what you did, you saved my life when you cut that wire," Tony said.

McGee dropped the pizza and shrugged, "It just seemed like the thing to do."

"Well, thanks." He leaned back, letting McGee take his time.

"You're welcome," Tim answered warmly. Then, "besides it's our job to torture you." Tim picked up his pizza again and things were normal between them again.

It felt damned good. Tony retrieved his slice and took a bite, savoring the spices and the tang of the tomato sauce, the burn of the cheese on the roof of his mouth.

"Kate said you almost died. Glad you didn't," he said talking around the pizza. "It would be hell breaking in a new Probie. You seen the new guy down in the computer room? He makes you look suave and _debonair_ in comparison."

"Just eat your pizza, Tony," McGee shot back, not even bothering to respond.

Tony settled back, enjoying the DVD and the company.

Life was returning to normal and he for one was ready.

* * *

Tony pulled into his parking place and turned off the ignition. He took a moment to just sat and stare at the building. It looked no different from the last time he'd been there, from the time he'd almost killed Gibbs.

Even after weeks of down time, weeks spent recovering from wounds both mental and physical, he still wasn't completely sure what had been real and what was imagined from that day. As advised by his shrink, he'd written a lot of it down trying to figure it all out, but it hadn't helped. He was still left with the nightmare visions of Gibbs' dead eyes staring up at him in silent accusation, a pool of blood beneath him.

He realized that he was clenching the wheel, his knuckles white and his hands shaking. He forced himself to let go of the wheel and pulled his keys from the ignition. He needed to go back in the building, he needed to get control of his life back, and this was the last, and hardest, step.

He was afraid, he knew that. He had to be sure of himself if he was going to be any kind of agent, and he was afraid of the damn gun. He'd spent time at the shooting range, trying to deal with the fear and every time he came away sick and shaking, unable to even pull the trigger, because the face on the target was always Gibbs.

He had to go in the building and see if he could face the fear and deal with it, or leave his badge and walk away forever because he wouldn't be responsible for watching someone's back if he wasn't a hundred percent.

Tony was never the type to give into fear; he faced it dead on and dealt with it, one way or another. So, he got out of his car, slamming the door a little harder than necessary and strode into the building.

Inside there was the normal flow of people, in and out, and Tony relaxed a little. He smiled at them like there was nothing wrong, and they smiled and nodded back. It was just a normal day. He could do it.

Dave, the security guy, was standing in his usual place, ever vigilant. He was always there, and Tony had a private image that the guy never went home. They just hung him up in the closet at night and took him out the next morning and put him back in place.

When he saw Tony, his face broke into a warm welcoming smile.

"Agent DiNozzo, heard you were coming back today. Welcome back."

That caught Tony by surprise, he hadn't even been sure he would come back today. The doctor had offered to extend his leave if he needed and he'd only declined at the last minute.

"Thanks, Dave," he answered. "It's good to be back."

"I know your team will be glad to see you," Dave said, the grin still creasing his face.

Tony didn't know that he'd ever heard Dave say more than five words at a time. It was weirding him out.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah, Gibbs has been even worse than usual the last few weeks, chewing people out. McGee said it was about time you were back, picking up the slack."

"Oh, he did, did he?"

"For a fact," Dave nodded knowingly.

"Well, thanks for the heads up, Dave," Tony said as he edged away.

"Watch your back, man," Dave called after him.

He didn't know why it bothered him that Dave had talked to him, maybe because it was different. Tony really needed the normality of things being the same.

He made it to the elevators without any other strange conversations. He pushed the button, grateful when it opened right up. He slid inside, pressing the button for his floor.

As the doors were shutting, a slim hand inserted itself. The sensor, noting that something was in the doors, opened them back up. Tony found himself staring down at the same bright blue eyes and honey blonde hair he saw in his dreams.

Except this woman took one look at him and a scowl descended upon her.

"Agent DiNozzo," she said. He swore the temperature in the elevator dropped ten degrees as she punched the button for her floor and moved to stand on the other side of the car.

Tony didn't take offense, he was glad to have some distance between them. He watched her out of the corner of his eye; her body language was definitely hostile with a frown upon her full, red lips. It hit him where he'd seen her before.

"You're a baggy bunny," he blurted before he even thought about it.

If anything, her back stiffened even further and the temperature in the elevator dropped even further. Tony expected frost anytime.

"I'll have you know Agent DiNozzo, that I am a highly trained professional, and my job designation is NOT baggy bunny." The doors slid open and she stalked out with a last scathing look back at Tony.

He sagged against the wall in relief and had to work hard not to laugh until the doors were completely shut behind her.

He was still shaking with laughter when the doors opened on his floor and he didn't even think when he stepped out.

Where he immediately found himself tackled by the waiting Abby.

"Tony, you're back!" she cried as she squeezed him hard enough he swore he felt his ribs creak.

"Abby, I can't breath," he wheezed and she let go.

"Oh, I'm sorry," her expressive eyes were so full of concern that he felt instantly guilty.

"No, it's alright, I'm glad to see you. I don't think I've ever been welcomed back quite so... enthusiastically."

"Well, that's just sad," she said as she caught his hand and pulled him along behind her.

And then he was at his desk and it looked just like he'd left it all those weeks ago. Except for the stack of files that was placed in the middle. Looking around he found that the rest of his team was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is everyone?" he asked, just a tad hurt that there really was no one there to welcome him back after all.

Abby stretched up on her toes and pulled his head down to meet hers so she could whisper in his ear, "They didn't want to overwhelm you on your first day back."

"Really?"

She smiled warmly and nodded. "I've gotta go, I've got a ton of work to do. It's good to have you back." She threw her arms around him one more time and squeezed before she was gone.

"There she goes, ladies and gentlemen," he said to no one in particular, "the tornado named Abby Sciuto."

Taking off his jacket, he hung it up before sitting down to the pile of files on his desk. Tentatively he opened one and glanced through the contents.

Kate was the first one to wander back and Tony didn't miss her glance in his direction.

He crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back, "Well, Katey me girl," he said in his best Irish brogue, "did you miss me now?"

"Please DiNozzo," she rolled her eyes, "we didn't even know you were gone, although your desk did make a good place to store files."

McGee rounded the corner, stopping short when he saw Tony.

"Hey Tony, I didn't know you were coming back today," his wide-eyed startlement didn't hide the twinkle.

"Huh, you didn't read your memos then, Probie, cause everyone else seemed to be in on it." Tony put his feet up on the desk, letting it all wash over him.

It was that moment that Gibbs came behind him, sweeping Tony's feet off the desk. Tony jerked back up.

"Glad you could make it in, DiNozzo. Comfortable there?"

"Why sure, boss, I've always liked this chair, you know you can..." he looked up to find them all staring him, as if they were glad to have the normality back, too.

Gibbs cleared his throat, "Alright, well, if you've all got your welcomes out, we have a case – a DB. Get your gear together, we're out of here." He clapped his hands and moved to his desk.

Tony automatically opened the drawer with his weapon in it. He pulled the gun out and slid the clip in. Then he just sat and stared at it, his mind caught in the eternal loop of watching himself aim the gun and firing it, Gibbs staring up at him with glazed, dead eyes.

How did he get past this? The knowledge that he'd been programmed to let people into NCIS who were going to blow it up? That he'd been programmed to kill his boss? How could he trust himself again? How could he expect his team to trust him when he couldn't trust himself?

"DiNozzo," Gibbs called sharply.

It was a Pavlovian response, Gibbs spoke, Tony responded. He snapped his eyes up, seeking out his boss.

"Operation Turnkey," Gibbs said softly.

It didn't even process with Tony, he was so lost in the horror of his vision. Then it broke through what Gibbs had said. He looked down at the gun he was holding. He hefted it in his hand and suddenly it wasn't the cause of Gibbs's death anymore, it was his tool for catching the bad guys and protecting his teammates. He slid it into place and snapped the holster close with practiced ease.

"Thanks, boss," he said softly.

Tony became aware that they were watching them – McGee and Kate, and they were smiling.

It was the best welcome back he'd ever had.

"Today people," Gibbs said gruffly. "Oh, and Kate."

She paused in the act of slinging her pack over her head, looking back at Gibbs.

"If you ever lie to me again, I will have your badge," he locked eyes with her so she could read the sincerity in his before moving past her to the elevator.

Kate opened her mouth to justify herself, but then, thinking better of it, shut it and finished pulling her pack into place.

Tony hooted, "Lying to the boss, Kate? That is not good." He moved to stand behind her and whispered in her ear, "It's a good thing I'm back to keep you in line."

She stiffened and whirled to face him, there was fire in her eyes. Tony backed up a step in self-defense.

"I lied to cover your sorry butt that Monday when you were late. But never again, Tony, the next time you're late, you're on your own. You can stay out there lying on the street in a fiery crash and I wouldn't care."

Tony couldn't help the lazy grin that seemed to split his face, "As if."

Kate turned her back on him and stalked to the elevator where Gibbs was waiting.

"Oh, come on, Kate," Tony called after her using his best wheedling tone, "you know you missed me, admit it."

"Tony, I missed you like I miss a migraine." She didn't even turn around this time; she just yelled it back to him as she stepped onto the elevator.

From inside the elevator Gibbs yelled, "DiNozzo, today."

Tony scooped up his pack and hurried to make it to the elevator before the doors closed. He slid in with no room to spare, pulling his pack in just as the doors snapped shut.

He couldn't help it, he grinned at his friends like an idiot, glad to have his life back to normal, or what passed for normal at the NCIS.

* * *

Much thanks to Stonedtoad for the beta ;-)


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